No Buts About It

Lately, it seems there is always one word that totally describes my day from a work standpoint and a personal standpoint. Often I'll just be sitting there and it'll come to me. One day it was "unwillingness" that term just seemed to fit everything about that day. Earlier this week it was "if" what if, I'll do this if, we'll do this if...blah, blah, blah IF! It's only 8:34 am and I already know today is "but". It started with me thinking I'll stay at my desk all day today. It wasn't in the office 5 minutes and.....BUT reared it's ugly head.

We're moving to our new office building soon and there is so much to do. I knew this would be a big project but I wasn't expecting to be this involved. It's been a great opportunity to learn about things I would never touch otherwise. However, it has also made it glaringly obvious to me that this line of work is not for me. I'm a client oriented kind of girl.

As part of this project, I have to manipulate a spread sheet that is going involved over 6300 entries...twice. I got the info yesterday and I put off starting it. It is a critical item and I must do it today. My plan was to sit at my desk all day and hammer it out BUT I had to go to something else within 5 minutes of my arrival. I should have started it when I got back from the other task BUT I needed to take a minute to simmer down for a few minutes first.

Now I'm done this post and geared up to start BUT I'm sure something else with come up. I can hardly wait for the BUT that comes up outside of work. It might go something like this "I wasn't going to park in your reserved parking space BUT..." My response might be "I wasn't going to kick your ass BUT...."

She's an Ecclectic Sort

This morning on the way to work, JJ was sitting in the backseat all decked out in her sunglasses. I told her she looked cool and she replied that she is a rockstar. Then she broke into Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green, and the girls are pretty. Oh won't you please take me home. Yeah, yeah.


Good ole Guns and Roses. Isn't that what all "I'm almost 5 you know" year olds are singing these days? She was hilarious. She was even doing that whiny Axl Rose voice and had the tune down perfectly. Axl Rose rises from the ashes one more time, reincarnated in the form of a blonde hair, green eyed, after-schooler.

My kid isn't all hard rock, you know. After her rendition of GNR, she effortlessly changed direction and sang a moving version of Tale as Old as Time from Beauty and the Beast. She followed up with Beach Baby and then finished with a self-composed song about sharing.

I believe a star has been born.

After-Schooler: Life at the Top of the Foodchain

Yesterday was JJ's first day back at daycare since last Friday. At our daycare, the kids change classes July 1 for the summer program. When we walked in yesterday, JJ went to her hook and basket and saw that her name was no longer there. She turned to Leonora, a staff member, and said "Where is my stuff?" Leonora said "Well, if I was an after-schooler, where would my stuff be?" JJ's face lit up like Christmas morning.

She is so excited that she is an after-schooler now. The after-schoolers are the big kids at daycare and she is stoked to be part of that club. Last night, JJ was diving into the pool and my dad told her that her dives were looking great. She responded "I am an after-schooler now, Grampie." From the way JJ tells it, it would seem that all good things are directly related to being an after-schooler.

I have no worries about JJ heading off to kindergarten in September. She is ready and very excited. Besides, she's an after-schooler now and apparently they have the world by the horns.

Snotty Pig

JJ and I were driving home the other day and she was eating an ice cream sandwich. We were just a few houses away from home and she offered me a bite of her ice cream sandwich. I said no thank you but she insisted. She handed me a small piece and I popped it in my mouth. The next thing I hear is "You snotty pig! You ate the rest of my ice cream sandwich!" said in her best disgusted voice. Holy hell! The car comes to a screeching halt in the driveway, as I try not to laugh, and I turn around and say "Excuse me?!?" Good god, she repeated it. I almost fell over. You'd think the car coming to an abrupt halt and my head almost flying off my shoulders would have been an indication that she said something inappropriate. Apparently, she was to disgusted with me to notice.

I proceeded to tell her that what she said was very inappropriate, that she will never say it again, and that she needed to apologize to me. JJ had different ideas. She informed me that she would "prefer to sit in the car and chit chat." I had to turn away from her to maintain my composure because I was about to dissolve into giggles. Once I had a handle on myself, I told her she would apologize or go straight to her room for the remainder of the night.

JJ eventually saw the light and apologized. But she also took the time to inform me that eating the remainder of her ice cream sandwich was highly inappropriate on my part.

3 days later and I still laugh when I think of those 2 little words - snotty pig. You have to know my child to understand that calling people names and having an attitude like that is absolutely not normal for her.

I Use the Term Lady Loosely

Dear Tim Horton's Worker Lady,

You're a bitch.

Princess

Canada Day...I just want to go to sleep now

Today was our annual Family Canada Day party. In the past few years, some of my cousins and their families have not attended but everyone was back full force this year and it was really nice. We had a few honorary families join us too - Hi Wards, MacDonalds, & Davises. I think there were more people there this year than ever before. But even with all those people it was pretty easy going. We have a ton of kids in our family but there are all getting bit older now so we can all relax a bit.

JJ and my little cousin, Gage, get along so well. He is a year or two older and such a little gentleman. He is rough and tumble but he is so sensitive and caring. The water in the pool was higher to day and, much to JJ's protest, I made her wear water wings because there were so many kids. She likes to dive and her wings came off a few times. When those water wings came off, Gage was the first one there to get them for her. He dove off the inflatable dolphin to get her water wing even though he knew he would lose the toy to another kid. Once both of her wings came off and JJ started to struggle. I was just about to dive into the pool to help her and all of a sudden Gage came charging across the pool, grabbed her, and brought her to the side. To put this in perspective, he is older but he is only an inch or two taller. He is "just" tall enough so the water is not over his head. Getting to JJ to help her was not a small feat for him. He is so sweet.

I told JJ I would take her to the fireworks. They don't start until 10:40 and I'm soooo tired. It's going to be a struggle to stay awake to take her. We certainly won't be staying for the whole thing.

Second Best...It's Almost Good Eough!

The province of New Brunswick recently came out with a new slogan "Be....in this place". I've decided my new personal slogan is "Second best...It's almost good enough!" I've been thinking lately and I'm totally a "settler". I settle for things instead of taking a stand for myself and going after what I really want or deserve. I know that I do it because I don't want to upset people. I'm afraid I might piss someone off if I voice my displeasure. Sometimes, I manage to convince myself that my feelings are not justified even though logically I know they are. I've been this way as long as I can remember.

I don't settle for anything but my best when I am producing something. For example, at work the result may not be perfect but I do things to the best of my ability. I always make sure I'm prepared, that people are not waiting on me, and if at all possible that I'm not standing there telling people that I don't know. Outside of work, if I tell you I'll so something than I do it to the absolute best of my ability.

But when the tables are turned it's a cake walk. Give me your left overs, your half-assed effort, be late, whatever! Because...here it comes. Wait for it, just wait for it. Second best....it's almost good enough.

I Lied

I totally lied and I'm not afraid to admit it. Last year, around this time, I said that it would be my last summer as a sun worshiper. I meant it, I really did. But I couldn't keep my word. I tried but it's not even July yet and I've already spent considerable time out on the deck in my bathing suit. I love summer.

I'm working on a project at work that doesn't really allow me to take vacation until it ends. Nobody would say no if I asked to take vacation, I don't think, but my work ethic won't let me. Damn ethics. So until mid-August, I'm just going to take a few beach days here and there. And let me be clear, I cannot wait to go to the beach!!

I have plans to head to sit on a purple sand beach and float in the lake with Jenny Mac on Saturday. It's going to be fun. I just need to get myself a beach chair and some water and I'm all set. I could sit on the beach for hours. I always take a book or a magazine but I rarely end up reading. I could just sit there and chat or people watch for the entire day.

This year will be the first year since I was 6 months old that I won't be spending a week in Shediac at the beach. It really saddens me but there is nothing I can do about it. I'll just get in as many day trips as I can. JJ HATES the drive to Shediac. But she did say that is has been a long time since she has seen the giant lobster....so she'll try the drive on more time. I tried to get her excited by pitching the idea as a "girl trip - you and Mommy on the open road". But in the end, it was the prospect of watching movies in the car that won her over.

I Just Can't Look Away

I've been reading a blog every day for about a year and a half now called dooce.com. Her writing makes me laugh out loud on a daily basis. I can really relate to her, I love her sarcasm, and I think she's hilarious. She's been blogging for a number of years and was fired from her job for talking shit about her employer on her blog. Classic!

Anyway, this woman has quite a readership. She doesn't always open the comments on her blog but when she does it's not unusual to see 400-600 comments. I don't take the time to read the comments because she regularly writes pieces about the hate email and comments she receives. She will often copy the comment or email directly into the blog and they are so dumb that they're funny. I don't get the people who write comments or emails saying how much they hate her writing, how bad her blog is, and that they don't know why they read it. It's the same deal with Facebook groups and stuff.

My response is that we must call the police to immediately to track down the horrible people who have the blog readers tied up and are holding a gun to their head FORCING them to read things against their will. It's inhumane and must be stopped.

I also love nasty anonymous comments. I can't take anyone seriously when they are too cowardly to sign their name. If want to leave a nasty comment than have then guts to sign your name. If not, then I don't see how anyone can really care about anything you have to say.

That being said, the exclamation and hate mail blogs that appear on dooce.com are my favourites. So funny.

She's Not British?

I spent my evening helping my beautiful cousin, Stephanie, and her sister-in-law, Jenelle, make Jenelle's wedding invitations. They turned out very nicely. Thanks for the use of your stamp, Jay. It was the perfect touch.

We chit chatted the whole time we worked and we touched on many different topics. We got talking about music and the subject of Madonna came up. I love Madonna and I've been a fan since I was a child. But she is certainly not the same person she was 20 years ago. Of course, people evolve, change, and grow. But this woman has turned British. She speaks even now speaks with a touch of a British accent.

My point was made loud and clear by the last three sentences of our Madonna conversation

Me: "Madonna even has a fake British accent now. C'mon, she's from Michigan."
Jenelle: "She's from Michigan? You mean she's not British?"

Thank you Jenelle. My point exactly.

Monday Morning Obervations

* Ankle bracelets that are so tight that it makes your foot turn blue are not pretty.

* Ass sweat stains on a chair will evaporate in approximately 30 mins.

* It is possible to leave ass sweat stains at 9:23 am.

* If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie....is always appropriate.

* Short cut off jean shorts than only end 2 inches below your ass cheeks are never appropriate office wear. Unless you are a federal employee.

* It will not be possible for me to drink enough coffee today.

* Sunburned boobies will sweat.

* I love summer.

That it for now. This list may be uppdated as the day goes on.

S-A-N-D-W-IC-H

Dear Tim Hortons Cashier Girl,

You may not remember me but you waited on me in the drive-thru the other day. I certainly remember you. I remember when you handed me my sandwich and said "Here's your sammich". Then you turned to the young man working beside you, giggled, and gave the that coy little "I'm cute, right?" look. Sweetie, it's not cute. Not even a little bit and it won't make him like you. In fact, if it does make him like you then he is a complete loser and you need to move on. Quickly.

You've waited on me a number of times in the past and I'm fairly certain you are a smart young woman. It is for that reason, that I hope you quickly discover that it never pays to play down your intelligence for anyone. No one is worth more than your self-esteem and sense of worth.

Love,

Princess aka The Creepy Lady in the Drive-thru

Get the Listerine...NOW!

Saturday night, I was sitting in the living room knitting while the Littlest Princess was brushing her teeth in the washroom. She called out to me and said "Mom, my toothbrush fell in the toilet." I replied, without looking up, "Leave it there!! I'll be right in." I just wanted to put down my knitting so as not to lose any stitches. When I looked up, the child was standing in front of me with the toothbrush in her mouth.

I stammered a bit and said "JJ take that out of your mouth!" She replied "Don't worry Mom I dried it off with a towel." I then started to die a very slow and painful death. Suddenly, a terrifying thought came into my head and I said "JJ did that fall in the toilet before or after you peed?" Keep in mind that I'm constantly telling the child to flush the toilet. Her reply? "After."

I wanted to bleach the child's mouth. Fortunately, I remembered that would likely kill her.

Say What??? and Arse Darts

I don't like to shop at the Sobeys at the Brookside Mall. Here comes my snobbish admission but the place just seems, well, nasty and redneck to me. This piece of info is pertinent to the story so keep reading before sending hate mail. I know it's snobby. Moving right along...

I stopped in at Sobeys yesterday afternoon to grab some graham crackers for the s'mores I've been craving. I went to Sobeys because I was already in the vicinity and I only needed one item so how bad could it be? It was bad.

I got my graham crackers and headed for the express check out (15 items or less). There was a lovely elderly lady right behind me and we made small talk for a second. Right behind her was a couple that I will call the Redneck couple. The were loudly bitching about the people in line who had more than 15 items. All of a sudden, Native woman walked up to Redneck couple and said in a very pleasant voice "Excuse me...". Redneck woman turned to look at native woman. Native woman's tone completely changed and she said "Did you call my daughter fat?" Rest assured the kid was indeed very obese. Redneck woman said "Oh, no! I said she was cute." Uh huh, because those words sound so much alike. Native woman said "Well, my kid said you called her fat." At this point I turned around because they saw me staring at them. I'm talking eyes wide open, mouth agape staring. In my head I'm wondering if my eyes are really truly seeing this and how did I get so damn lucky on a rainy Saturday?!?! Finally Native woman said okay and walked away.

I turned to look at Redneck couple and the husband looked and me and said "Can you 'magine??" That was it for me. I lost it. I had no control and I just about pissed myself laughing. Eventually I said to him "I thought I was going to see a smackdown right here." He replied with a dirty look toward Native woman "You might just yet." Thank goodness it was my turn to pay. I paid and high-tailed it out of that insane asylum. And that, Internet, is why I do not shop at Sobeys on Brookside.

Arse Darts - You place a small item, a toonie is a good one, between your butt cheeks. You must then walk a short distance and deposit the toonie in some sort of container such as a bowl. As the game goes on, the container gets smaller. That's the gist of it. However at 2 am in a parking lot, just pick a target on the ground and go for it. Admittedly, not a classy game but it was 2 am.

Observations of the Random Variety

My sister is snarky.

S'Mores

OMG...I want s'mores so badly that it might just kill me. I've been craving them since yesterday. Normally my cravings don't last this long. I know, I know...just go get the stuff to make them. But somehow toasting a marshmallow over my stove burner by myself doesn't seem like such a good time. Damn S'mores!

Is It or Isn't It?

I was at the mall at lunch time and I found myself having that age old debate - Is it or Isn't it? Is it a shirt or a damn dress? Which one is it?!?!?! Because I'd be so embarrassed to find out I was wearing a shirt that was really a dress. Imagine the horror. I must ask the question - Can anyone really tell if its a dress or a shirt?

These days shirt length has come down quite a bit and I thank the fashion gods for that. However, skirt/dress has come way up. As of Saturday night, I know the dangers of having a dress that is too short. After watching me try to get in a half ton truck at 2 am...there are a few other people who are aware as well. Oops.

I finally gave up at the mall. I bought a pair of shorts and I'm not sure what I'll wear on top. Maybe I'll just say to hell with it all and put on my best tube top/mini skirt and call it a day.

That Poor Girl!

JJ is with her father this week but had supper with me last night. She talked my ear off the whole time and it was great. She told me that she wants to be just like me when she grows up (must the the arse darts with hot firemen that swayed her). She continued on to say that we can be twins because we both have the exact same curly hair but in different colours. I told her she was growing up so fast and she looked at me and said "I know Mom, I'm almost 5."

After supper, JJ and I went to Dairy Queen. JJ has been asking for a Brownie Explosion Waffle Bowl for weeks. It's huge and she ate the whole thing. I have pics to prove it but I don't know how to get them off my phone. You'll just have to use your imagination.

JJ was eating along and all of a sudden got a look on her face that was purely sympathetic. Then she said "Oh no Mommy! That girl has holes in her capris! That poor, poor girl!" I looked over and one of the girls behind the counter was wearing capri pants with the so very fashionable holes and rips. I held in my laughter as I agree with my sweet and very concerned daughter.

Oh What a Night!

So what were you all doing at 1 am this morning? It just so happens that Shelley and I were playing arse darts in a parking lot with some hot firemen. Yup, we were. So take that JennyMac and Stacey! I actually declined to participate but thoroughly enjoyed being a spectator. Shelley was right in there judging who dropped their toonies closest to the line.

Ahh...yesterday my sweet cousin Stephanie married her sweet fiance Trent. They are both wonderful people and I'm so excited for them. I've been looking forward to this wedding for a long time and for alot of different reasons. I couldn't wait for Stephanie to have her special day. She and Trent very much deserve their day.

I was very excited for a good family get together. I've mentioned in the past that my family always has fun and last night did not disappoint.

Jan - the hair is gorgeous. Really, I love it. I loved lounging on the couch drinking Slings and mixing them in the back of our father's cars. Somethings never change. The tiaras were an awesome idea. I'm sorry you missed the arse darts. But rest assured that at least once I yelled out "Janet would sooo love this!!!!"

Dad - thanks for always paking the mobile bar. Nuff said.

Tracy - what can I say. I can't begin to tell you how much fun I had last night. You are one friendly lady and I could dance with you all night. Some day, I would like to know what you were saying to the hot firemen while pointing at me. I should also apologize for pretending to be you in the bathroom. But at least I didn't throw away your shirt. You were looking hot last night. But apparently you need some pants in a smaller size.

Jen - Shawnee and I are sorry about your phone. However, I feel this is a good lesson. Never leave your phone unattended around drunk people. It could have been worse. Also, I'm sorry you were cold. Thanks for lending me your pashmina.

Shawnee - Dear, dear Shawnee...you my girl have the patience of a saint. You have so many good qualities that I don't know where to start. You are up for anything and I had a great time on the dance floor with you. Thank goodness you knew how to work that phone (being sober probably helped) or we never could have taken those pictures. Thanks for driving Tracy home. I'm glad you both were able to stay and party with us.

Shelley - Ah, Shelley. I'm so glad you decided to come to the dance. You looked AWESOME! That new drink you introduced me too was the bomb. Though when I first woke up at 5:30 this morning I wasn't sure I'd be thanking you. Luckily it all worked out well in the end. I have things to say to you. 1) I'm proud of you for asking. 2) 47?!?!?!?!?!?!

I had so much fun last night. My first tailgate party (sorry Steph) and game of arse darts (with hot firemen!) in one night. What more could a Princess ask for?

Can't Be Looking Good...

I usually bring coffee with me every morning but today that didn't work out. JJ is so tired from staying up way later than usual because of the dance show. This morning was a struggle to get out of the house on time and coffee was the item I scarificed for time. As a result, I went to the deli across the street to get some coffee once I got to work.

I walked in and chit chatted with a co-worker and then placed my order for a large coffee and white toast. I haven't had toast forever and I had a craving. The deli owner got my order together and when I pay he looked at me and said "Are you hung over this morning?"

Good god. I soooo should have spent more time on my hair this morning.

I'm Sure It's a Money Making Scheme

That Littlest Princess of mine, she's a tricky little thing. She had been obsessed with money lately. For the record, toonies are her favourite money. In her words, "I love the silver ones with the golden in the middle. I love them so much I will never trade them in, Momma. Never." Okay, as long as we're clear on that.

Make sure you keep your money close to you when my kid is around. She'll swipe before you can even blink and do it with a smile on her face. She is also very persuasive when it comes to asking for your money. It's very difficult to say no to those cute dimples, shining green eyes, and golden curls. But my cute little girl is not exactly trusting. She has a bank account but refuses to put her money in the bank. Nope, she needs to keep it where she can look at it, feel it, and wash it. She's into money laundering...very literally.

Tonight she was eating a pear while I was doing her hair for the dance show and she said "Ouch!" I thought I pulled her hair but she said her teeth hurt. I immediately wondered if she smashed her face into something again but she said she didn't. I started feeling around and sure enough she has 2 loose teeth on the bottom in the very front. She isn't even 5 years old yet. But just today I noticed one of the little girls in her daycare class has lost 2 teeth already.

Of course, JJ was super excited about the loose teeth. She is so excited for the tooth fairy to leave her money that she is beside herself. She's in bed but I'm sure she'll be working those teeth ALL night long. She wanted an apple so she could loosen them some more. I told her just to relax and let them come out on their own.

My child is special. Other than the obvious reasons, she is special because she has an extra tooth. In between her two pointy teeth (I know, I know...very technical) on the bottom she has 5 teeth instead of the normal four. Leave it to my child to have an extra tooth to get more money out of the tooth fairy. It's all a money making scheme I tell you.

True Friendship

Today may be the day that your true friendship with me is put the the test. Today may be the day that I will find out who really cares about me and how much you are willing to sacrifice for me.

You see, I've been wanting to punch a few people for about a week now. Not only that, I want to really kick them hard once they fall. Each day this urge gets increasingly worse. Today maybe the day.

Where do you come in? Rest assured that if you are reading this, you are not a candidate for the beating. No, if you area reading this I will need you to post bail for me. You will leave work (because believe me it'll happen during work hours) and pool whatever money you have to get me out of jail. You must not be shy to take money from the family food budget, take the bus because you'll need to throw your gas money into the pot, and let your child roam without a diaper because we're going to need that money too. This is advanced warning that you should cancel your spa and hair appt...we're going to need those funds. Don't be afraid to join forces. I'm not suggesting this needs to be a one person show. No, no...call all your friends.

Did I mention I might need a good lawyer too? Start fundraising now. I know you're resourceful. GO!!!!

Beautiful on the Inside and Out

***Fair warning - this post is most definitely an "over share"***

Today I had the super experience of having a colsposcopy (not sure I spelled that right) at the hospital. For those you who have not had the misfortune of this procedure, let me tell you what it is. Basically, the doctor takes a look at your cervix because you've had tests come back showing abnormal cells. Then they treat you or not depending on what they find.

The doctor doing my procedure was a Chatty Cathy. I wasn't too concerned when I walked in because lots of poeple I know have had this done. Plus, I'm very good at practiced indifference. So I get myself up on the table and she starts her business. She gets all set up, takes a look, and says "You have a beautiful cervix." What do you say back to that?!?! I said "Thanks." It has now been confirmed that I am beautiful on the inside. How many of you can say that???

I had to have a biopsy which didn't feel good. She had to do it twice so I didn't feel good twice. Now it hurts to sit down. But what matters is that I'm beautiful on the inside.

Random Observations

Again this is a topic I've covered recently but some things are just worth sharing and they don't always mesh into one neat package.

Today as I was coming out of the washroom, guy pulled a Dairy Queen bag off a shelf in front of the washroom, looked it in and said "Fucker!" I noticed the bag the other day and when I witness this, I cracked up. I couldn't even stop myself. I have no idea what his reaction was for. I prefer to assume that "Fucker!" could be interpreted as "Dammit! That's where I left my lunch Tuesday afternoon!"

On another trip the washroom, I was totally amused by the person in the next stall singing the whole time they were in there. When I say amused, I do not mean that I was in awe of their ability. It was more me giggling wondering "Why?".

Yesterday I was out on home visits in a rural area and saw two things that caught my eye.

The first was a house where the occupants had painted their last name over the door in large black letters......and had X-mas light around it. I'm all for seeing your name in lights but this takes it to a whole new level.

The second thing is the sheer volume of old large freezers at the end of driveways with "GARBAGE BIN" spray painted on the side. Thanks for the heads up folks because I almost mistook that rusted piece of crap for some classy outdoor decor. Phewf, close call.

This is an addition after returning of the washroom this afternoon - Navel bearing shirts are not appropriate for the office ANY day of the week.

Mud Slinging

My daughter may not look like me. But I am reminded on a very regular basis that is a perfect little Mini-Me when it comes to personality.

We had a conversation on the way to work this morning that went like this:
Me: JJ if you go outside to play this morning, I want you to wear both parts of your jacket please. It's on your hook at daycare.
JJ: No, its on the floor under my feet.
Me: Let's make sure to take it inside with us.
JJ: (very dramatically) Oh, Mommmy! My beautiful (emphasis here) blue jacket!!
Me: What's wrong?
JJ: Hannah (fake name) threw mud on my beautiful (emphasis again) blue jacket.
Me: That wasn't very nice. What happened in the end?
JJ: I let her know how it would feel if I threw mud at her.
Me: Uh huh, how did you do that?
JJ: I threw sand at her.
Me: I would hope that you are both done throwing things at each other now.
JJ: (with attitude. in fact picture a hair flip and finger point with this one) I would too.

I can justify just about anything. Anyone who has been shopping with me can vouch for this skill of mine. I'm not at all surprise that my daughter so easily justified throwing sand. Justification, valid or not, is a skill she comes by naturally.

Flood Update

Said in my best whiny voice - The water stinks and it makes me cold to stand beside. It's going to rain soon and I don't have cute rubber boots.

Flood Watch 2008

Today was another warm sunny day and JennyMac and I decided we needed a walk and a snack around 2:30. We got each got a brownie iced cap from Tims - not sure about drinks I have to chew but I'm open to new things - and a donut. We took a detour getting back to work and she suggested we go check out the flooding river behind our building. Of course I was all over that! So out back we go only to discover a snow bank blocking our view. Well sorta, the water was beginning to come around the snow bank but we couldn't see the boat hut. What else could we do but climb the snow bank? Me in 3 inch high heels. I don't care what anyone says, high heel boots are appropriate for construction site tours, shovelling snow, and climbing snow banks to watch fast moving flood waters. This list WILL grow and I will keep you informed of additions.

Anyway, we are on our now mountain cracking jokes and all of a sudden JennyMac laughs and tells me it caused a snot bubble to come out her nose. It was very funny but would have been funnier had she turned to me so I could see it. After that we made intelligent, not at all ridiculous chit chat about the water and it's encroachment on the parking lot. We got laughing quite hard and then came the inevitable.....

I fell off the snow mountain. Thank goodness I missed the nasty stagnant water pooled at the base. Really it was bound to happened and needless to say my expedition partner had very little sympathy for me. In hind sight, perhaps I shouldn't have laughed so hard at her snot bubble.

Ahhh break time in the spring time. The entertainment possibilities are endless. I think tomorrow I will take my camera. Who knows what fun we could catch on camera if the flood waters peak as fore casted.

I know you're all waiting with unbridled anticipation. I can only guess that there might be some wet feet involved. It's all part of Flood Watch 2008 (mountain climbing expedition included for a limited time).

Happy Part ???

I've written alot of these lately but I wanted to write because everyone else is doing it. I'm a day late and probably a dollar short but whatever.

Things that make me happy because I don't have the brain power to identify my strengths or weaknesses today:

- red socks as always
- my black Betty Rubble necklace. It completes any outfit but it can also be an outfit all on its own.
- afternoon coffee runs
- my bed
- JJ's bubbly happiness and endless affection
- forgiveness

Damn McDonalds!

Every Tuesday I stop and get JJ fast food for supper because we have to be out of the house before 6pm for dance class. I let her choose where she wants to go. Because of the super awesome princess toys at McDonald's right now, that is where we have gone the past few times.

McDonald's on Main St is painfully slow and is my last choice for Tuesday evenings. This week, I could see the girl with my bags in her hand and she was standing there having a conversation with someone. My blood pressure began to rise and my blood quickly started to boil. Finally I popped and said "Shit, give me my food already!" The window was closed so she didn't hear.

However the adorable 4.5 year old in the backseat heard me very clearly and said "Momma, what does she mean?"
I said "I don't know but it's not nice so let's never say it."
JJ said "Okay, Mom."

We carry on our drive home with smiles and no further profanity. As we drove into the driveway she said to me "Momma, I think I know what shit means."
I said "Yeah? Well, let's not say it. It's not a nice word"
JJ said "I know Momma. That's why I'll say ship instead."

Greeeaaat. Somehow I'm thinking when she stubs her toe and daycare and says "Oh, SHIP!" it won't go over much better.

Random Tidbits

* I much prefered the dill pickle to the carrots with my bagel at lunch.

* My kid is so cute that she puts the rest to shame. Oh, and kind too.

* My father is the driving force behind my ever growing muffin top.

* I will need new pants soon if I don't move out of my parent's house.

* I move out of their house next Wed. They have been super over the last 2 months with us staying there.

* Women's washrooms are gross.

* I want more coffee but I will not walk anywhere to get it.

* I learned to knit (again) on Saturday.

* Myself and a few friends WILL go to an NKOTB concert if they come as close as Toronto. But we might fly to Vegas for it too. We'll see.

* What happens on the road, stays on the road.

* I want to wear my new flip flops.

* I'm lazy.

Decisions, Decisions

I'm getting together with some friends tonight. I just cannot decide if I should wear the Hannah Montana ring I found at the bottom of my purse or not. I mean is does have a built it lip gloss.

Seeing

I can be naive at times and far too trusting. I have a hard time believe that someone would purposely want to hurt me or take advantage of me. That's because I would never do it to anyone else. Yes, I may deliver a jab or a barb here and there out of hurt. But I would never maliciously set out to hurt someone. I wrote about my daughter's daycare troubles awhile back. She is my daughter through and through.
I can think of a couple of sitation in my life right now that concern me. I've spent alot of time thinking about them the last few days. I keep wondering over and over if I'm just completely blind to what is really going on. Can I really trust what is going on? Or am I going to come out on the losing end?

Sometimes I have a hard time seeing what is right in front of my face. But I would rather take the risk than miss out on something good. I have a feeling I might want to invest in a helmet and some knee pads. I think I'll need them for the rest of my life.

Easter Miracle

My daughter experienced an easter miracle about 30 minutes ago. The miracle was the fact that I did not kill her in the middle of the front yard. There may be another miracle in early April if my father doesn't kill me when he arrives home from Florida.
JJ and I were out in the front yard playing in the snow. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless but lives 2 door down, gave me the idea to fill spray bottles with water and food coloring to spray the snow. We were having a grand time and I specifically told the child not to spray anything but the snow. Holy hell she sprayed the house.

SHE SPRAYED THE WHITE HOUSE.

Who knew that vinyl siding sucks up food coloring and water like a sponge? I do now. I spent the last 30 minutes scrubbing the side of the house with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and then bleach pen. Neither one worked perfectly. My father is going to have kittens.

You may want to pop by to say your goodbyes in the next two weeks. After that point I will likely be heavily embedded in the witness protection program.

Royally Cute

I may be a bit biased but I think THIS is by far the best front page story I have ever seen in The Daily Gleaner. I may be biased but that is my right as a parent. She's destined for stardom. Again, I maybe biased but I alright with that.

Multi-functional

Remember awhile back I posted this? It turns out my skirt and boots are multi-functional! Tuesday morning I discovered they double as a "taking out the garbage skirt and boots". I navigated my way down the icy driveway in a skirt and 3 inch heels. All the while pulling the Trius garbage dolly behind me. I'm sure the old man next door took one look at that, turned to his sister who lives with him and said "That's hot." Then went and poured himself a second cup of coffee and watched Canada AM.

Alive and Well...imainge that!

Here we are exactly one week later and I'm recovering. This morning I noticed that the sores in my throat are gone. My throat is still a bit tender but nothing serious - woo hoo!!! I have some eating to do to make up for lost time. My muffin top has been suffering from this.

I saw my doctor on Friday morning. They didn't call me back Thursday because they were still trying to get the results from my swap from the microbiology lab. I guess there were some issues with it. I heard my doctor get on the phone and ask, in a not so friendly way, what the hold up was with my swab. He and his staff were not impressed about the wait. When he came in the room, he looked my my throat and said "Well, that's nice and pussy." I was full of pus and infection in my throat, ears, and glands (or something like that). I was in so much pain that I didn't really care. He gave me some penicillin for the infection and some Tylenol 3 for the pain. I really like my doctor. He doesn't mess around and he likes to prescribe stuff :) I don't normally like to take meds but, holy hell, something had to give.

I'm still tired today but I'm not in pain. I'm going to take it easy today and tomorrow I'm back full force. I'm looking forward to going back to work. I'm looking forward to seeing my girls...my god it's been weeks. I'm looking forward to Easter with JJ next weekend. Today I'm going to make some cute little baskets to fill with candy for her.

My Own Private Hell

I'm still sick and I'm not getting any better. In fact, the sores have now taken over my entire throat and my tongue. I'll survive but I'm miserable. I'm so hungry but the pain overrides the need to eat. Today I've had a popsicle, coffee, 2 yogurts (I was surprised at the pain that caused) and water. So, so, so much water. If you hear in the news that water tables in the city are low, it's probably my fault.

In addition to my pain,I'm completely totally bored of my skull. I have no desire for visitors because it's hurts to talk. I've scrapbook, I've read, I've been online. Not only am I bored, I'm a sucker for punishment. I find myself watching cooking shows and reading cookbooks. What is up with that?!?!?! I'm torturing myself but I can't help it. It's no secret that I have a huge appetite. I'm always the first in line for food and I always go back for more. There have been a few stories float around about my eating habits, how much I eat, and often I eat. You make yourself an extra sandwich at lunch and pack it away for later at one crop and all of a sudden you have a reputation. Geesh.

The other night I was up late watching TV because my throat hurt too much to sleep. I was watching Tori and Dean - Inn Love (I know...bad TV). Anyway, they are starting a new business - french fries with all kinds of different dipping sauces. I've been craving that for 2 days now because of that show. I want fries and different dipping sauces.

I've been craving all sorts of odd things, simply because I can't eat anything. I've never had a chili dog in my life but I was craving one today. Basically anything I see on TV....I want. I'm going to go watch Survivor. At least those people aren't eating much more than I am.

Oh, and from what I'm told, hunger and pain make me pissy and distant ;)

That's Nasty!

I went to the doctor this morning and it looks like I was right about my throat. The sores look like canker sores but they did a swab just in case.

I stayed home from work today and as soon as JJ walked through the door she went into nurse mode. She is so cute and caring. She took off her coat and took my by the hand into the living room. She climbed on up on my knee and said "Let me feel your forehead, Mama. Yup, you still have a fever. Do you still hurt all over?" I told her that yes I hurt all over but my throat really hurts. True to form, she asked to see and I let her. She took one look inside my mouth at my throat and said "That's nasty!" So there you have it. If a 4 year old thinks it looks bad than it must be.

Thanks for all the get well wishes. FYI - Shelley is pretty ill too. She's sick a dog and headed to bed but called to see if I need anything. Can you send some get well wishes her way too?

Misery

Misery describes what I feel right now. I'm so sick. My throat started to hurt a bit last night before I went to bed. But I wasn't concerned because I've been spending alot of time downstairs and it gets dry down here with the pellet stove. The dryness often makes my throat tickle.

My throat still hurt this morning when I got up and it was a familiar pain. I went straight to the mirror to take a look and my fears were confirmed. A year ago this past September, I was really sick with a nasty sore throat. I went to the ER in Oromocto and got some meds for strep throat. Three days later the meds still had done nothing to help. So I went to the after hours clinic to get checked out. It turns out it wasn't strep at all. I have a virus (I think it's a virus) that lives in my body. It stays dormant for awhile and then comes to life whenever it feels like it.

This awesome (note the sarcasm) little friend of mine gives me sores, similar to canker sores, all up and down my throat. It's similar to cold sores - it's not contagious just some people get them and others don't. If you get cold sores, it's a virus (again I'm not sure if that's the proper term) that lies dormant in your system and comes out once in a while. My little friend tends to appear when I'm run down and stressed.

The pain from this is unreal. I've had strep throat and tonsillitis at the same time and I'd take that combo over this virus any day. If you get canker sores, and I do, you know how painful one can be. Now imagine your entire throat covered in them. Get the disgusting and very painful idea?

I'm in pain, I'm hungry but I can't/don't want to eat, I'm freezing cold, my entire body hurts, and I'm tired but can't sleep because it hurts. The last time I had this I was home from work for a full week. All I want is a hug. Damn.

Living It Up

Yesterday after work, I was outside for 25 minutes wearing only a sweater. Mind you I was chiseling away the ice that was in front of the shed door. Let me back up and tell you about that little adventure. I'm staying at my parent's house right now...they're in Florida until early April. The main source of heat in the house is the pellet stove. I love the stove but it is a fair amount of work. I needed to get pellets from the shed last night so away I went.

First I had to to walk down the path the through the backyard to the shed. The path was sheer ice but I made it to the bottom in one piece. However, once I got there I realized that water also travels downhill where it pools and then freezes at the base of the door. Therefore, making it impossible to get the door open. That is where the 25 minutes of hammering at the ice with a shovel came in. I finally got the door open enough to squeeze me and my ever growing muffin top through.

Once inside, I had to get behind a glass table and pull out the bags of pellets that weighs at least 50 lbs. I squeezed them through the opening at the doorway. Then I had to try to drag my sorry, out of shape ass, AND the pellets up the death trap of a path to the house. Once I got them in the house, I had to throw the bag down in the basement. I did this 3 times before I ran out of steam. I waited about 3 hours before I stacked the pellets by the stove.

Lucky me I get to repeat this in only 3 days!!!!

Tomorrow I will turn off the stove to clean it and then restart it. I really know how to live it up. I like the heat from the stove so I can't complain. It's a labour of love.

Mama Bear

I don't normally talk about this stuff on here but I'm really upset today.

My daughter is 4 and a half years old and a very gentle, affectionate, loving, and sensitive soul. She feels emotions very intensely. She is quick to show love, friendship, and to care for others. The flip side is that her feelings are easily hurt. She is not one to hurt the feelings of others and doesn't quite understand how/why others would do that to her. She is not one to retaliate at all...this point will be important later in the story. She doesn't really cry easily but when she's hurt you can see her head and her eyes fall to the ground. You can't miss it.

She has a history with a couple of girls at daycare. It is recognized by the staff as being an issue and they keep an eye on it. I understand that my child can be part of the problem. She is not an angel. But the daycare staff has told me that there is a "distinct meanness" involved with one of the other girls.

Today I witnessed behaviour that I couldn't even imagine could come from a 4 year old. In the interest of privacy, and a long winded story, I'm not going to repeat the whole thing. It started with my daughter showing interest in what the other child was saying and making a comment to show her interested. The other child responded with a tone nothing short of bitchy and it just went down hill. When my daughter spoke to her again, the child actually started screaming and flailing around. I thought she was going to throw herself to the ground. All because my daughter spoke to her.

Do you know how my daughter responded to that shitty rejection? She was concerned because she upset the other child and wanted to give her a butterfly kiss to make her feel better. My child was treated like a piece of shit and still wanted to tell her she loves her and give her a butterfly kiss. Of course that comment, just got her more screaming.

My daughter was crushed and started to cry. She was crying real tears with her chin trembling. I know, you want to know what the other parent did. She told the child to say no thank you nicely. My child is a puddle of crushed feelings and rejection in my arms and that is the response? I'm so upset that my heart is racing and I'm fighting back tears as I type this.

My daughter has been through so much pain and heart ache over the past few weeks. This incident just crushed me. I stood there and stared at the other parent in anger. I just stood there and said nothing. Because, unfortunately, that's what I do. I do nothing. Well, that just ended today. On the way home, I told my daughter this "JJ, I'm very sorry about what just happened with Suzie. I know your feelings are very hurt. I promise I will never again just stand there and watch that happen. Ever."

What is the right thing to say? Did she understand? I have no idea on either count. But mark my works, I will NEVER keep my mouth shut again. What's the worst thing that happens? I lose a friend? A daycare parent thinks ill of me? Bring it, because she's worth it.

The incident took place outside at the end of the driveway. If the daycare owner had witnessed this she would have intervened. I know that I haven't captured the incident well with my description but let me tell you it was nasty. Nasty isn't even close to a good description. The behaviour was deplorable and cruel. When I drop my daughter off at daycare tomorrow, I will be addressing the incident. It didn't happen on their watch but I never want to find out that type of thing happened again and that child was told to say no thank you. That child is a bully and has been for the last 2 years.

I'm angry and hurting for my daughter and my Mama Bear Claws are out. The daycare knows me as being calm and even tempered. That will work in my favour. When I speak and show concern they will take me seriously because I don't normally make waves. I was hoping writing about this would make me feel better but it hasn't.

Wanted

Wanted - one set of full body armour. Needed by 5:50 pm today! I can allow more time as long as you have it to the Aitken Centre by the time the puck drops tonight.

That's right. I said by the time the puck drops tonight. The Princess is headed to another hockey game. It's the battle of the hill in the playoffs. Shelley called this morning and asked if I wanted to go to the UNB/STU hockey game. JJ is with her dad this week so I thought it sounded like fun. However, first I asked her "Are you sure you want ME to go?" She said she wasn't sure but I'm invited anyway. I'm really looking forward to it. The last game I attended was exciting with the overtime and shoot out.

Now, back to the important task at hand. FULL BODY ARMOUR. Someone please! Knuckles Whalen beat the crap out of me last time. If nobody can help me, I may be forced to steal hockey pants from one of the players. For my protection, of course.

Okay, I have to go fix my hair and get "hockey ready". Watch out hockey fans, the Princess is on her way. Score!!!!

The Proof is in the Pudding

And all the proof points to the fact that I am a complete geek. I was sitting here scrapbooking this morning and heard something about human rights on the radio. Of course, that made me start thinking. You know what? I am such a geek that I actually have 2 favourite sections in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. I kid you not. In fact, they've been my favourites for a long time. I know some of you already know this.

Both of my favourites fall under the term Legal Rights.

The first is section 8 - Everyone has the right to be secure against unreasonable search or seizure. I like this one because I like the challenge of trying to find loop holes and such. I remember an example of this that a professor gave in university and it goes like this. There is a house for sale and the police suspect they sellers have stolen art inside. The police could not pose as potential buyers to go check out the place. There is much more to it than that but that's a quick example.

My other favourite is section 11 (d) - Any person charged with an offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty according to law in a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal. This one makes me so appreciative that I live in Canada. I'm positive that many Canadian take this right for granted. I cannot imagine living in a country where you could be put to death or punished in any way just because someone thought you did something. There are many places/countries that if the powers that be decide you did something...you did it. Whether there is proof or not. I can't even imagine what that is like.

Anyway, there you have it. Two quick paragraphs that completely prove my geekiness. I can't help it. I've always loved Charter issues and Human Rights issues because of the challenge in the interpretation. Everybody has their thing and that is mine.

I'm going leave my "pet sections" for the day and do some scrapbooking. Then Shelley and I are going to take a stab at making Jay's delicious Thai mussels. If we can figure out the damn lemongrass. :)

Kindred Spirits

I've heard the term Kindred Spirits a number of times over the last week or so. I heard it again last night while watching Big Brother and I realized that I have never really known exactly what it means. I understood the general idea but not the exact definition. After hearing it last night, I decided to find out today.

Kindred Spirit - someone who feels and thinks the way you do.

It along the lines of what I thought but not quite exactly. I know that I have a perfect match as a kindred spirit. Of course there are a few others as well. But one exact match. Fun!

Hi

Hi. I've been MIA for awhile now. The truth is that I just don't have much to say. Life has been pretty crazy and, unfortunately, it has pretty much killed any creativity or fun in my head.

Everything going on makes me step back an evaluate my things in life. It also makes me take a look at priorities. I've been on a bumpy road for a long time now. I've made some pretty big changes and the road will even out eventually. I'm sure I'll be a happier person in the end.

Thank goodness for the support of my friends and family. I'm lucky to have friends who are there to whisk me away at just the right time. And friends who are able to help keep things normal and on an even keel. I'm doing quite well but I still need you and appreciate you.

Well Big Brother will be on soon and I'm going to go watch. Quite frankly, I've turned watching the dysfunction of others in to a sport.

Things I Dislike

Since I listed things I love, I've decided to list thing I don't love:

* cooked carrots - the smell even makes me feel vomitous
* drivers who turn into the outside lane on the bridge in the morning - enough said
* the snow - sorry I just can't bring myself to like it
* mint flavour - the 3 exeptions being the blistex and the flavour shot in my coffee
* sucker or lollipops - the make me gag
* butter - it's a consistency issue
* being cold at night
* Grey's Anatomy reruns

Those are the items on my mind right now.

My Loves

Here is a list of things I love right now:

* Laying on the couch and getting myself in there just as tightly as I can
* Mint Blistex...it is really a mild addiction
* Tim's coffee - large triple, triple with a mint flavour shot. Sugar in a coffee cup
* Red fuzzy socks...not new but still hanging on
* Sanding the walls - not really but maybe if I keep telling myself....
* Mid-afternoon runs to get fastfood
* Hoodies
* Reading
* JJ telling me that she wants to be with me all the time
* The very brief time during the day when all thoughts disappear from my head
* Multi grain Tostitos...it has nothing to do with health. Chips are chips but these are just so crunchy!
* Butter chicken from the Superstore
* Re-runs of Paradise Island. I make no apologies for my poor taste in TV. None!

Hmm...short list.

Never Say Never

Never say never. Just when you think it's over and you'll never see something again....you get a surprise. Just when you think you've missed your chance...you hear differently. Just look what I found this weekend

NKOTB

Who would have ever thought this would happen. I was so into them in junior high school. And I vividly remember many of my friends liking them just as much. Don't even think of trying to deny it. I will point fingers and tell stories if you do.

I remember when Shelley went to see them in Quebec. I was so happy for her and so totally jealous at the same time. Then there was another time that we did a presentation for french class on them. I bet the rest of the class just loved that ;)

My favourite was Joe but I had a Jordan t-shirt that I wore religiously. Shelley had the same shirt but with her favourite band member, Danny.

So, would I go to a concert if this tidbit of into is real? I'm embarassed to say that I probably would but for the nostalgia. Shelley, you'd come too, right?

What I Want, When I Want It

That title sums me up pretty well. When I decide I want something, I want it now. I think I've always been like that. Remember when I decided I wanted I Cricut or a digital camera? I did wait for both but it was tough.
This doesn't just apply to material things. I have a difficult time waiting for anything. If you ask me to go to out lunch, I want to go NOW. It doesn't matter to me that it's only 9:47 am. Ask me over to your house to hang out? Again, I want to go right now. Not tomorrow, not next week, not even later today. NOW.
Food also fits into this category. Why wait to eat the cake later when I could eat it right now? This very minute. I am also of the opinion that I may as well eat the entire package of cookies all at once. What's the difference if I eat them all now or span it over a few days. They are all going to my butt eventually.
Sigh... seriously. I want it all right now. Now.

Oh and for the love of all things good - can someone please can clean up those damn Cheerios?????

Update

Monday evening and the standoff continues. Neither of us is budging on this. In all fairness, I haven't informed him that this stand off is taking place. So I guess what I really mean is that I haven't cleaned up the damn Cheerios yet.
As I was making supper, I realized there seems to be a directly co-relation between the crunch of Cheerios under my feet, the disapperance of my lips into my face, and the appearance of new wrinkles on my face.
Who doesn't love a good old fashion stand off?!?!?!

Stand Off

Well, it seems the universe would be out of line if there wasn't a stand off in my household at least once every 12 months or so. If you remember last December we all went through the whole camera saga together. I wasn't victorious in the first battle but, ultimately, I won the war and consequently the camera.
Fast forward to the present day in our house. We are currently coming to the close of day 4 in the Great Cheerio Standoff of 2008. Let me take you back to Thursday evening when I had a conversation with my sweet daughter. As I was getting supper ready, I noticed there were some Cheerios spilled on the floor in front of the cupboard where the cereal is stored. I nonchalantly turned to my daughter and asked her who did it. She said her father did it. I said thanks and turned away.....leaving the cheerios on the floor. That brings us to Friday when I'm making supper. The mister strolls through the kitchen and I asked him if he spilled Cheerios on the floor. He said yes and walked to the couch and lays down. My head then exploded all over the kitchen. I mean brains on the floor and everything. I started to walk toward the living room to make my thoughts perfectly clear but I stopped. Really, why bother?
In the end, I have decided to say absolutely nothing and leave the Cheerios on the floor. It is now Sunday night and the Cheerios are still. on. the. floor. I'm trying to be strong and hold my ground. It's not easy to leave garbage on the floor but I feel I must. Today I swept the floor AROUND the Cheerios.
I was going to take a picture and post it but it's bad enough I publicly admitted that I'm letting the Cheerios rot on the kitchen floor. But, dammit, I am. I am.

Bad Day

You think you're having a bad day? Check the day my sister had yesterday....

http://notthefavorite.blogspot.com/

I feel awful for her.

Hi

Hi, remember me? It's okay if you don't, I've forgotten my own name a few times over the past week. It's been a bit crazy. But it won't last forever.
I was in the kitchen earlier thinking that I should right a blog. I thought that I should write about the things I love right now. But as I was thinking of those things, my mind wandered off in a completely different direction. Funny how that happens. I'm going to tell you how it all played out because, quite frankly, the journey from one thought to another amazes me.

Like I said, I was thinking of things I love. At the same time, I was eating Golden Grahams cereal. For the record, I love Golden Graham. I'm sure there is very little nutritional value in them but, whatever, they' re good. Next I started humming the song Me Love by Sean Kingston and thought that I should add it to my list of things I love. So then I started thinking about why I love it. I love the raggae beat of the song because it reminds me of Jamaica. Then I remembered JJ listening to my MP3 player last night and telling me that she loved that song. That made me smile and I started singing out loud.
I started singing the song from the beginning which instantly reminded my of my cousin, Jan. Jan, if you haven't heard this song go find it. You'll know exactly what I mean. The beginning of the song takes me directly back to Lake George where we spent a weekend learning to water ski. Of course at this point I'm leaning on the counter laughing because of the water skiing incident when Jan didn't let go of the rope when she fell. Let me just say that a water induced Atomic Wedgie can reduce a 15 year old girl to tears.

I soon started laughing harder because I thought of Jan calling me the other night at 11 pm. The conversation went like this:
Me: Hello?
Jan: hesitation and then she says Sarah? oh my gosh I'm sorry. I was trying to call GV ( her hubby)
Me: Ha!Ha! That's really funny.
Jan: I was wondering why you were answering his phone then I realized I dialed the wrong number.
Jan: I do that all the time but only to you.
Side note - it's true she does it all the time and it's freaking hilarious. It cracks me up every time.
Me: It's okay, I was only sleeping.
This is followed by both of us laughing really hard for a good 5 minutes.
Me: Okay, I'm going to sleep now
and we hung up.

The next thought after that was about how I convinced Jan to throw away her sister's favourite shirt after she "borrowed" it without asking. Sorry Tracy we were young and stupid.
Then I started thinking about Stephanie's wedding and how much fun it will be to have family function and that I will totally need a new dress.

And that is how I went from thinking I love Golden Grahams to needing a new dress.

Not Really Blonde

There is a man at work who continually teases me by asking me if I color my hair. He says I must color my hair brown because he's convinced that I'm blonde. I have a tendency to say dumb things on a semi-regular basis. But surprise, surprise, I'm not really that dumb.

I've written posts on how I notice things that other people don't...blah, blah, blah. I may make air-headed comments but I definitely notice what is going on around me. I'm also terrible or really good, depending on how you want to look at it, for giving people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes that comes back to screw me over but I'd rather have that from time to time than be a bitter, suspicious person all the time. Having said that, I do have my moments when I refuse to give people the benefit of the doubt. But it usually takes repeated incidents for me to get to that point and I usually get over. Hellooooo....how many times have I boycotted Walmart. I always go back because Walmart I could never stay mad at you.

I hate confrontation of any sort. If you hurt my feelings or upset me, chances are I will never say anything about it. It's not that I don't notice that you're screwing me or boycotting me. I notice....I just choose not to say anything. I figure it'll blow over. And if not? Whatever, I guess it wasn't meant to be. I'm off to a meeting in about 2 minutes that I have to lead and it will likely be a bit testy. This is not my comfort zone but I'll deal. Some people might be upset with me in the end but...whatever.

I'm cool with the fact that people think this stuff goes over my head. I notice and I keep track. I'll have the last laugh. I'll probably be your boss some day or own your subdivision.

A Space

Welcome to probably the most shallow post I've written to date. Yup, let this serve as your warning that you may want to hit that little red "X" in the corner now.

I was just in the washroom and as I was washing my hands I was checking myself out in the mirror. Whatever....you all do it to. I noticed that for the first time in my life there is a space between my thighs when I stand naturally. Only 2 years ago, my jeans always wore out in the inner thigh area first because my legs rubbed.

And there you have it...a very shallow blog. I don't think I can beat this one in the shallow department this year. But never say never. Clearly I can be very shallow.

This blog is brought to you by the word shallow...today's word of the day.

Frank's

On New Year's Day we took JJ to Frank's Finer Diner for lunch. She is constantly asking to go there and to El Burrito Loco. She thinks El Burrito Loco is Belle's castle. Anyway, it wasn't open so we went to Frank's. JJ was certainly "on" at Frank's that day. So much so that I started writing stuff down on my place mat so I would remember. Here are a few gems:

* "Mommy, that girls is wearing roller skates. Why is she wearing roller skates?" Me - "I'm not sure JJ ask her." JJ to the girl "Why are you wearing roller skates?" Girl - "I don't really know." When she came back later, JJ stops her and says "I know why you're wearing those...to go faster."

* "Momma, where does bacon come from?" I thought about this for 2 seconds and told her the truth "It comes from pigs." JJ - "For real?!?!" Then I offer her piece of bacon. She looks at it and says "Can I have a piece without ketchup on it? That's my girl.

* "Mommy, where does hamburger come from?" Me - "From cows." JJ- "For real?"

* JJ leaning over to me - "Give me a hug you big furball!"

Before we left Frank's JJ informed me, and half the restaurant, that she had to poop. So off to the washroom we go. We got in there, she sat, and peed. But before she had a chance to finish, the self-flushing toilet flushed. Well, the child got a terrified look on her face, screamed, and jumped of the flush. Holy crap it was THE funniest thing I have ever seen. I will be taking to her therapy next week because I'm sure she is traumatized by the fact that in her moment of need her mother could do nothing but pat her on the head. I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my fact and couldn't even talk.

Crunchy Edge

I love the crunchy outer edge of homemade brownies. I will search through the plate of them until I find a corner piece becaue it has 2 outer edges. None of those pansy centre pieces for me. I'm an outside girl all the way.
I do not like icing on my brownies. I do not bake brownies. JJ and my mom made them today when JJ was there for the snow days. Mmmm....brownies.

New Year

I had a blog all planned for today and I'm going to write it later because it is really funny. I'm sitting here at work, and for the record I'm soooo freaking happy to be here. I really mean that but fair warning if anyone calls me Mom, Momma, or Mommy it could get violent. I love my daughter dearly but hearing her call me name relentlessly for 12 hours straight for the last 10 days has worn me down.

So back to my thought. I received an message this morning from a friend saying she has been reading my blog over the last few days. Hi Stacey, nice to have you! It made me want to go back and read entries from the last year. Just for kicks I went to January 1, 2007. I was reading through and the following line caught my eye. A year and 1 day ago I wrote "My theory is that you should just jump on for the ride and take it for what it is. Otherwise, you may miss out on something really good."

Reading that line, I believe it more than ever. When I wrote that line last year, I was talking about friendships. This is I'm applying to life in general. I'm jumping on to see where it takes me and I think it's going to be good.

Final Edition

Last but certainly not least. Nicole C didn't make these herself but she know my style. This would be what I would pick out for myself. After all, red is my favourite colour. They are sassy, classy, and exotic all in one. Just pluck them off the card, stick them on and your in business. I don't have much to say about these because I think the photos speaks for itself. Besides, the have tassles...heelllooooo....enough said.

Thanks girls! I'm now properly outfitted. Just remember what I said about ruffles and fishnets for next year.

Kisses,

P

This set is a Holle P original. The are very creative and well made. You probably can't see but they are adhered to band aids so I can easily adhere them to me! They also came with advice, she said to remember that it's better the tear band aids of quickly.
I will save this set for July 4th. I'm not American but I will honour the USA by wearing pasties for them on July 4th. Thoughtful of me, huh?

Part II

Jeanette is the creative genius behind these beauties. To me the scream fun, flirty and mid summer night's dream. The butterflies are attached to orange cones, very Madonna -esque, with wire. Now I noticed that the wire is long and I'm not sure if Jay did that on purpose with the intent that I would wire them to myself or what. If that is the case, she things I'm generously endowed than I am. It's gonna be tough to wire to butterflies to mosquitos bites.

Secret Santa

I know Secret Santa was last week but I've been ill. I was one of the frist to leave the party and that was the start of me being sick. I've been in and out of bed since then. My throat hurt, my head hurt, I coughed and it was all around gross. I think I'm allergic to our Christmas tree but we got rid of it yesterday so hopefully I'll feel better now.





Okay back to Secret Santa. It was fun as it always is. Tina, thank you so much - you did a great job again! Tina was my secret santa last year too. Jeanette, thank you for having us all over and for the treats you sent home with me!





Every year there are some gag gifts handed out. Jeanette and I were the recipients this year. Oddly, I didn't see any photos of Jay's super pretty bathing caps. I was the lucky receiver of homemade pasties. And here they are:

This set was lovingly hand-crafted by Jenn and Amy. They are made from fruit roll-ups and tree ornaments. They are not only beautiful and sophisticated. They are practical too. If I get hungry and take then off, snack on them and then use the strings on them to loop them around my ears for long dangly stylish earrings. The are edible multi-use pasties for the girl on the go.

I've just decided to put each set in their own post.

Something is Missing

It's 9 pm on Christmas Eve - the littlest princess is asleep wearing her jammies left for her by Santa's elves. She was up at 6 am today so she went to sleep easily at 7:15 pm. I'm just finishing wrapping a few items, I've already filled the stockings, tracked down a missing bag and I'm working on my second rum and coke. But something is missing. A few things actually.

I miss the people I love. Everyone is here in the city but I'm not with most of them. Yes, I have my little family here but I'm used to a big family get together on Christmas Eve. We can't really do that anymore because we all have children and they need to go to bed. It's been a few years since we've had our Christmas Eve party. It was always at my parent's house with my cousins and aunts and uncles. My dad always served his meat pie and a million other things too. But we were all there for the meat pie and a few drinks. In the last few years we did an afternoon thing on the weekend before Christmas but now that has even fallen to the wayside.

Janet, Tracy, Jenn - If you're reading this, I really miss you guys tonight.

Christmas Cheer

From what I've been hearing, many people are having trouble getting into the Christmas Spirit this year. I know I'm at the top of that list this year. It's not secret that I'm not a huge fan of the Christmas break but this year seems to take the cake. Usually I dread things but I can manage to get into at least a week before Christmas. I'm still waiting and it's not looking good.

Even shopping this year was a chore this year. I normally love buying gifts for people. I can't even tell you how many fruitless trips I made the the mall this year. I just finished shopping yesterday. That is the lastest I've ever left shopping. I have piles of stuff to wrap downstairs and I would rather stab myself in the eyeball with a hot poker than go wrap anything.

I'm trying to be outwardly excited for JJ. But the truth is, I'd rather go to bed until this crap is all done and over with. I'd rather be at work next week than have to drag my sorry ass around to visit people.

My plan is to take JJ skating, sliding, play with the stuff Santa brings her, bake cookies (don't laugh...its the activity that counts not the charred remains of what were supposed to be cookies) and have play dates to keep me busy.

I guess it's only Saturday and I still have time to come around. Maybe Santa will sends some elves to force some Christmas Spirit into me. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a good old fashioned ass kicking from short men in tights.

Muffins Tops

Do you like muffin tops? I don't but I have one. As I was writing this, I had a conversation with someone about what the term muffin top could mean. I was going to explain what is was but it didn't occur the me that there are so many possibilities. The muffin top I'm talking about is that lovely bundle of fat that spill out over the top of my pants. HOT.

I'm not a big girl at all but I'm not exactly toned and fit. I'm never going to be and I'm fine with that. Being toned and fit would require effort and quite frankly I'm not willing to put forth the effort. I can still "suck it in" so I'll stay on that path as long as I can.

Jen and I were comparing our muffin tops and lunch time over some very unhealthy shepherd's pie. We are both showing our muffin tops of nicely today. The glow of Jen's muffin top can be seen through her slightly sheer blouse today while mine is nicely accented by my snug, form- fitting sweater. Both muffin tops are prime examples of what a muffin top should be.

So far we only have them in the front. If mine extends to the back, I will have to address it in a very passive aggressive manner. Muffin top in the front fine. Muffin top in the back icky....but I'll tell it nicely.

So anyone wanna rub my muffin top for luck? C'mon...I'll let you do it.

Shovelling Skirt

I have a skirt that from here on out will known as my Shovelling Skirt. I really think everyone woman should have one. What exactly is a Shovelling Skirt you ask? Well, it is a very practical piece of clothing one wears to shovel the driveway in -20 degree weather. Let me set this all up for you.

Yesterday morning I was all dressed in a skirt and high heel boots and walking out of the bedroom at 7:20. Mr Princess, who was staying home from work due to not sleeping at all the night before and a cold he'd had for a few days, informs me that I would have to shovel the driveway before I leave.
I looked at my clothing and said "I'll drive through it".
He said "There is alot of snow and you won't be able." He had already been up out of bed to get JJ dressed and fed, let the dog out, and call in sick.
I said "I'm wearing a skirt, the snow will be heavy and I only have 10 minutes. Can you help me?"
He said "I'm wearing shorts and I'm beat from snowblowing the driveway twice in 12 hours on Sunday and Monday."
I said nothing and I walke outfiguring that I was then giving off so much steam that the snow would melt if I stood next to it.
As I'm putting on my coat, he comes down and does the same. I say "I can handle it, I don't want your help. Leave me alone."
He continues to put his outdoor stuff on. So I repeat myself and he says "Sarah, that's not very nice." I say nothing but I'm thinking that it's a nicer than me putting the shovel up your ass!
So I put my coat on and head outside to shovel. The snow was in huge chunks at the end of the driveway and it was heavy. I'm standing on boulders in my sexy Shovelling Skirt breaking up snow boulders with a shovel and the mister comes out and helps. I cleared enough to get the car out and then went inside to get JJ and leave.

As she and I are in the car backing out of the driveway, the mister is walking up the driveway to the garage. JJ says "Watch out, don't run over Daddy." I said "I won't, that would be far to obvious today."

And that is how I came to own a Shovelling Skirt. I feel this is also good time to mention that I'm actively seeking a Sugar Daddy to finance an extended trip to someplace warm and tropical for myself and a few friends. If you know any SDs who may be interested please send them my way.

I'm In Love

Yes it's true. I've found a new hair stylist and I love him. After a long search, I decided to try out Justin Fudge at Sue Lawrence. He was recommended by my friend, Nina, who also has curly hair.

I really like my hair but I also really liked Justin. He was totally personable and friendly from the get go. I explained to him that I was looking for someone who was willing to work with my hair curly and NOT try to straighten it at every appt. He looked at me and said "If you don't wan to bother using a straightening iron on it than neither do I!" I smiled and we were on our way. I pointed out a few problematic areas with my hair. Instead of acting like I was a total door-knob like my last stylist, he told me why those issues happen and how he was going to correct it. Sigh...he's awesome.
I have to colour my hair because I'm probably 35% grey now. I don't like coloring it myself because it's so messy and the drug store stuff doesn't cover the grey as well. However, I do it occasionally if I have to. The last time I was in to see my former stylist she snottily (I know that is not a word) said "I see you use drug store color". Whatever, its a freaking 8 week wait to see her. Blah, Blah. So I told Justin up front that I used drug store color and he said "It doesn't look bad at all" What a guy. Then I told him that I prefer to have it done. I also told him I'd like to have red streaks but I don't think I'm hip enough to pull it off. He said we would make it work AND told me I should grow my hair a bit longer. True Love.
We talked about all kinds of things and he told me all about his love life. I helped him justify a few things, because we all know I'm good at that, and he said " I like you!"
I left thinking that Justin and I will be together for a long time. I love my hair and I'm pretty sure Justin just brought my Sexyback! How corny was that?!?! I couldn't resist.

Geez

Well, I haven't said much over the last 24 hours with all the blogs going on. I've decided to keep my yap shut for once. I know, crazy isn't it. But holy hell, then Ames and Mel go and post that mushy friend crap. I'm not a mushy person by nature but that stuff almost made me cry this morning.
Relationships are tough ladies. All relationships. Having said that, some relationships are easier but they all require work. We are a large group and we we tend to break off into groups and that is normal. Some girls will be closer with others and chances are those relationships are easier. But you know, you still have to work at it to some extent.
I'm not always the most forgiving person and I can admittedly be judgmental by times. But you know we've all come through alot together in the last little while. I'd love to tell you that it will all be sunshine and lollipops from here on out but we all know it won't be. Life happens and you all know that something will come up, probably soon because it's been a bit too quiet, and we'll need to rally around and support one another. Amy mentioned how important honesty is in a friendship and I think she is absolutely right. But remember what I said about relationships beig work? Part of that work is trying to understand your friends and what works. I'm not suggesting we pussy foot around. I'll use myself as example, I'm a loud-mouth but I hate confrontation and you need approach me gently or I will cry. Seriously.
So how about we all throw down the boxing gloves and make nice? Unless I can have some cute pink boxing gloves. Because then I'd want to go a round just for the sake of the gloves. But please don't get any blood or snot on my cute gloves because that would be gross and then I'd be mad and wouldn't want to take my own advice.

I love you, Girls.

xoxox

P

I'm easily bored. I mean I can have 10 million things to do and still be bored with it all. Which brings me to the avoid and pain topics I mentioned last week. I know it's sounds depressing but really it's not.
I have all kinds of piles on my desk that I need to get to but I just don't do it. You see this is a special pile of items that I don't want to work on for one reason or another. A major flaw of mine is that I'm an "avoider". I totally avoid things I don't want to deal with.
The piles on my desk just get moved around on my desk every day so I can work around them. I also keep a notebook on my desk that I write in constantly. I write things I have to do, notes on cases, notes from phone calls etc. I also tend to doodle in this book when I'm on the phone. The notebook typcially tends to sit on the pile of stuff I like to avoid. So one day a few weeks ago, I was on the phone and when I looked down after the phone call, I noticed I had doodled AVOIDANCE. Hello? How clearly do I need to spell it out to myself? Get at that pile!!! I'm publicly stating that I intend to clear that pile in the next 2 weeks while I'm stuck in the office. Mark my words

First Snow

Sometimes I go for days and even weeks when I don't have anything to write about. Then all of a sudden I have too many things to say in one post. Okay, way off topic but I just had a total loss of grammatical knowledge and I'm still sitting here wondering if I should have used THEN or THAN. Let me assure you that type of thing bugs me. Moving right along and getting back to all the things I have to say. I don't want to cram it all into one post so here is the list and I'm going to try to write about it this week - avoidance, pain, busy. Wow, that looks like a depressing list but really they aren't. They are all funny things. Really.

Today was the first snow of the season. I may offend some people with this but what else is new. I like to live on the edge by speaking my mind. Holy crap the first snow of the season is annoying to me. I can't even tell you how many times I rolled my eyes today and said "We live in Canada people! It snows EVERY year!"

The forecast has been calling for snow for the past few days. We knew last night that we would get alot of snow overnight. We were ready to leave the house this morning at the same time that we leave every morning. Even. with. all .that. snow. You know why? Gee, I'm not sure if I should give out this ground breaking secret. I'll tell you but I might have to kill you. Here goes nothing...we set our alarm early. Wow, it feels good to say it.

I have to get off my high horse for a second but don't worry, I'm getting back up. We didn't leave our house until 9:15 but only because our daycare didn't open until 10 am. We thought about taking JJ to work with us but vetoed that idea. It turns out I should have taken her because there were few people there anyway. Our building was virtually empty. Why is it that people think they don't have to go to work on a snow day? I understand that some people have quite a drive and that can be intimidating. But if you live at the start of the Woodstock Rd you should be able to get to Queen St. Good lord.

On to this evening. I was in a parking lot earlier this evening talking to a friend for a few minutes and we were lucky enough to watch 3 separate cars tear into the parking lot trying to do spins. The snow brings out all the crazies There were two red cars in a row and they were pretty funny. But then a silver car came along. The car was going relatively fast for a parking lot and then I noticed there was a guy hanging out of the passenger side window with a camera in his hand. I got a good chuckle out of that. A few minutes later, the same car comes along and the passenger was standing out the sunroof this time. Ahhhhh...it reminds me of when my dad and I used to do that in his jeep while my mom and sister were at Brownies. Well, except standing out the sunroof.

At least we have the first snow out of the way. It's pretty blah, blah, blah. I will give you that but I refuse to like winter or the drivers.