Say What??? and Arse Darts

I don't like to shop at the Sobeys at the Brookside Mall. Here comes my snobbish admission but the place just seems, well, nasty and redneck to me. This piece of info is pertinent to the story so keep reading before sending hate mail. I know it's snobby. Moving right along...

I stopped in at Sobeys yesterday afternoon to grab some graham crackers for the s'mores I've been craving. I went to Sobeys because I was already in the vicinity and I only needed one item so how bad could it be? It was bad.

I got my graham crackers and headed for the express check out (15 items or less). There was a lovely elderly lady right behind me and we made small talk for a second. Right behind her was a couple that I will call the Redneck couple. The were loudly bitching about the people in line who had more than 15 items. All of a sudden, Native woman walked up to Redneck couple and said in a very pleasant voice "Excuse me...". Redneck woman turned to look at native woman. Native woman's tone completely changed and she said "Did you call my daughter fat?" Rest assured the kid was indeed very obese. Redneck woman said "Oh, no! I said she was cute." Uh huh, because those words sound so much alike. Native woman said "Well, my kid said you called her fat." At this point I turned around because they saw me staring at them. I'm talking eyes wide open, mouth agape staring. In my head I'm wondering if my eyes are really truly seeing this and how did I get so damn lucky on a rainy Saturday?!?! Finally Native woman said okay and walked away.

I turned to look at Redneck couple and the husband looked and me and said "Can you 'magine??" That was it for me. I lost it. I had no control and I just about pissed myself laughing. Eventually I said to him "I thought I was going to see a smackdown right here." He replied with a dirty look toward Native woman "You might just yet." Thank goodness it was my turn to pay. I paid and high-tailed it out of that insane asylum. And that, Internet, is why I do not shop at Sobeys on Brookside.

Arse Darts - You place a small item, a toonie is a good one, between your butt cheeks. You must then walk a short distance and deposit the toonie in some sort of container such as a bowl. As the game goes on, the container gets smaller. That's the gist of it. However at 2 am in a parking lot, just pick a target on the ground and go for it. Admittedly, not a classy game but it was 2 am.