Thursday, May 29, 2008

Observations of the Random Variety

My sister is snarky.


OMG...I want s'mores so badly that it might just kill me. I've been craving them since yesterday. Normally my cravings don't last this long. I know, I know...just go get the stuff to make them. But somehow toasting a marshmallow over my stove burner by myself doesn't seem like such a good time. Damn S'mores!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Is It or Isn't It?

I was at the mall at lunch time and I found myself having that age old debate - Is it or Isn't it? Is it a shirt or a damn dress? Which one is it?!?!?! Because I'd be so embarrassed to find out I was wearing a shirt that was really a dress. Imagine the horror. I must ask the question - Can anyone really tell if its a dress or a shirt?

These days shirt length has come down quite a bit and I thank the fashion gods for that. However, skirt/dress has come way up. As of Saturday night, I know the dangers of having a dress that is too short. After watching me try to get in a half ton truck at 2 am...there are a few other people who are aware as well. Oops.

I finally gave up at the mall. I bought a pair of shorts and I'm not sure what I'll wear on top. Maybe I'll just say to hell with it all and put on my best tube top/mini skirt and call it a day.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

That Poor Girl!

JJ is with her father this week but had supper with me last night. She talked my ear off the whole time and it was great. She told me that she wants to be just like me when she grows up (must the the arse darts with hot firemen that swayed her). She continued on to say that we can be twins because we both have the exact same curly hair but in different colours. I told her she was growing up so fast and she looked at me and said "I know Mom, I'm almost 5."

After supper, JJ and I went to Dairy Queen. JJ has been asking for a Brownie Explosion Waffle Bowl for weeks. It's huge and she ate the whole thing. I have pics to prove it but I don't know how to get them off my phone. You'll just have to use your imagination.

JJ was eating along and all of a sudden got a look on her face that was purely sympathetic. Then she said "Oh no Mommy! That girl has holes in her capris! That poor, poor girl!" I looked over and one of the girls behind the counter was wearing capri pants with the so very fashionable holes and rips. I held in my laughter as I agree with my sweet and very concerned daughter.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Oh What a Night!

So what were you all doing at 1 am this morning? It just so happens that Shelley and I were playing arse darts in a parking lot with some hot firemen. Yup, we were. So take that JennyMac and Stacey! I actually declined to participate but thoroughly enjoyed being a spectator. Shelley was right in there judging who dropped their toonies closest to the line.

Ahh...yesterday my sweet cousin Stephanie married her sweet fiance Trent. They are both wonderful people and I'm so excited for them. I've been looking forward to this wedding for a long time and for alot of different reasons. I couldn't wait for Stephanie to have her special day. She and Trent very much deserve their day.

I was very excited for a good family get together. I've mentioned in the past that my family always has fun and last night did not disappoint.

Jan - the hair is gorgeous. Really, I love it. I loved lounging on the couch drinking Slings and mixing them in the back of our father's cars. Somethings never change. The tiaras were an awesome idea. I'm sorry you missed the arse darts. But rest assured that at least once I yelled out "Janet would sooo love this!!!!"

Dad - thanks for always paking the mobile bar. Nuff said.

Tracy - what can I say. I can't begin to tell you how much fun I had last night. You are one friendly lady and I could dance with you all night. Some day, I would like to know what you were saying to the hot firemen while pointing at me. I should also apologize for pretending to be you in the bathroom. But at least I didn't throw away your shirt. You were looking hot last night. But apparently you need some pants in a smaller size.

Jen - Shawnee and I are sorry about your phone. However, I feel this is a good lesson. Never leave your phone unattended around drunk people. It could have been worse. Also, I'm sorry you were cold. Thanks for lending me your pashmina.

Shawnee - Dear, dear my girl have the patience of a saint. You have so many good qualities that I don't know where to start. You are up for anything and I had a great time on the dance floor with you. Thank goodness you knew how to work that phone (being sober probably helped) or we never could have taken those pictures. Thanks for driving Tracy home. I'm glad you both were able to stay and party with us.

Shelley - Ah, Shelley. I'm so glad you decided to come to the dance. You looked AWESOME! That new drink you introduced me too was the bomb. Though when I first woke up at 5:30 this morning I wasn't sure I'd be thanking you. Luckily it all worked out well in the end. I have things to say to you. 1) I'm proud of you for asking. 2) 47?!?!?!?!?!?!

I had so much fun last night. My first tailgate party (sorry Steph) and game of arse darts (with hot firemen!) in one night. What more could a Princess ask for?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Can't Be Looking Good...

I usually bring coffee with me every morning but today that didn't work out. JJ is so tired from staying up way later than usual because of the dance show. This morning was a struggle to get out of the house on time and coffee was the item I scarificed for time. As a result, I went to the deli across the street to get some coffee once I got to work.

I walked in and chit chatted with a co-worker and then placed my order for a large coffee and white toast. I haven't had toast forever and I had a craving. The deli owner got my order together and when I pay he looked at me and said "Are you hung over this morning?"

Good god. I soooo should have spent more time on my hair this morning.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'm Sure It's a Money Making Scheme

That Littlest Princess of mine, she's a tricky little thing. She had been obsessed with money lately. For the record, toonies are her favourite money. In her words, "I love the silver ones with the golden in the middle. I love them so much I will never trade them in, Momma. Never." Okay, as long as we're clear on that.

Make sure you keep your money close to you when my kid is around. She'll swipe before you can even blink and do it with a smile on her face. She is also very persuasive when it comes to asking for your money. It's very difficult to say no to those cute dimples, shining green eyes, and golden curls. But my cute little girl is not exactly trusting. She has a bank account but refuses to put her money in the bank. Nope, she needs to keep it where she can look at it, feel it, and wash it. She's into money laundering...very literally.

Tonight she was eating a pear while I was doing her hair for the dance show and she said "Ouch!" I thought I pulled her hair but she said her teeth hurt. I immediately wondered if she smashed her face into something again but she said she didn't. I started feeling around and sure enough she has 2 loose teeth on the bottom in the very front. She isn't even 5 years old yet. But just today I noticed one of the little girls in her daycare class has lost 2 teeth already.

Of course, JJ was super excited about the loose teeth. She is so excited for the tooth fairy to leave her money that she is beside herself. She's in bed but I'm sure she'll be working those teeth ALL night long. She wanted an apple so she could loosen them some more. I told her just to relax and let them come out on their own.

My child is special. Other than the obvious reasons, she is special because she has an extra tooth. In between her two pointy teeth (I know, I know...very technical) on the bottom she has 5 teeth instead of the normal four. Leave it to my child to have an extra tooth to get more money out of the tooth fairy. It's all a money making scheme I tell you.

Friday, May 09, 2008

True Friendship

Today may be the day that your true friendship with me is put the the test. Today may be the day that I will find out who really cares about me and how much you are willing to sacrifice for me.

You see, I've been wanting to punch a few people for about a week now. Not only that, I want to really kick them hard once they fall. Each day this urge gets increasingly worse. Today maybe the day.

Where do you come in? Rest assured that if you are reading this, you are not a candidate for the beating. No, if you area reading this I will need you to post bail for me. You will leave work (because believe me it'll happen during work hours) and pool whatever money you have to get me out of jail. You must not be shy to take money from the family food budget, take the bus because you'll need to throw your gas money into the pot, and let your child roam without a diaper because we're going to need that money too. This is advanced warning that you should cancel your spa and hair appt...we're going to need those funds. Don't be afraid to join forces. I'm not suggesting this needs to be a one person show. No, all your friends.

Did I mention I might need a good lawyer too? Start fundraising now. I know you're resourceful. GO!!!!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Beautiful on the Inside and Out

***Fair warning - this post is most definitely an "over share"***

Today I had the super experience of having a colsposcopy (not sure I spelled that right) at the hospital. For those you who have not had the misfortune of this procedure, let me tell you what it is. Basically, the doctor takes a look at your cervix because you've had tests come back showing abnormal cells. Then they treat you or not depending on what they find.

The doctor doing my procedure was a Chatty Cathy. I wasn't too concerned when I walked in because lots of poeple I know have had this done. Plus, I'm very good at practiced indifference. So I get myself up on the table and she starts her business. She gets all set up, takes a look, and says "You have a beautiful cervix." What do you say back to that?!?! I said "Thanks." It has now been confirmed that I am beautiful on the inside. How many of you can say that???

I had to have a biopsy which didn't feel good. She had to do it twice so I didn't feel good twice. Now it hurts to sit down. But what matters is that I'm beautiful on the inside.