Monday, January 29, 2007
JJ was mean to a little girl in her class this morning. JJ yelled right in the other girls little face "Don't talk to me!!" This time the little girl had done absolutely to provoke JJ. However, JJ also takes her turn being yelled at. I, of course, addressed JJ's behaviour and explained why it wasn't right or tried to explain. I guess JJ's day did not improve at all from that point. Her teacher said she was a bit rough and not very nice all day. We had a talk about it on the way home and we agreed that from now on we will treat others the way we want to be treated. In fact, it's our little secret.
As I'm trying to help my daughter understand that being kind to others will help others be kind to her, I'm having trouble convincing myself. Let's be honest, none of us are nice all the time. Even if we strive to do so, I'm sure we all slip from time to time. Like KimMartha, I try to be kind because I genuinely want to be that way. But I also joke around too often and inadvertantly end up hurting someone's feelings. It is never my intention to offend anyone but it happens. When I'm on the receiving end, I just try to remember that I've made the same mistake and just let the comments slide.
What I can't excuse is people who, for whatever reason, think it is perfectly acceptable to treat people poorly. Then I have to ask "Do they really think it's acceptable?" I have no idea but I just can't convince myself they would continue to treat others in that manner if they had any inclination that their behaviour was unacceptable. There is one person in particular that I can think of that is just plain old mean. There is simply no other way to say it. There no way to make it sound more sophisticated or intelligent. This person, Pat, is mean. Point blank. Pat is mean to people. Pat talks down to poeple. Pat belittles people. But the thing that gets my goat the most is the damn look that Pat gives people. It enrages me. It's a snarl and it clearly communicates that Pat thinks you are the lowest of the low and a complete waste of space. Just ask anyone who has received this stare. My favourite memory of the Pat look was when I was having a conversation with someone else and Pat chose to stand there and glare at me the whole time. Pat, nobody was holding a gun to your head. Move along!
Many people have a Pat in their life. In my world, most of us share the same damn Pat. You know what? Pat is a loser. You know what else? If Pat has been mean or rude to you, console yourself by thinking about what an awful existence Pat must lead. Do you think Pat has many friends? I suspect Pat's life is misery because I certainly don't see Pat winning any popularity contests.
Here's the bottom line folks - Take the high road. If you dislike something about someone, please, don't react by doing what it is you dislike about them. Take the high road and don't lower yourself. By "telling someone off" you are just adding fuel to the fire. Walk away. If you get into a yelling match chances are that people will overhear the yelling. Yet they don't know why you're yelling, they don't know that your Pat is a jerk. They just see both of you looking like morons, yelling at each other like cavemen. Walk away because Pat will look like a fool arguing alone. You might feel better for a few minutes after letting your Pat "have it" but the reality is that Pat won.
Take the high road. That's what I'm teaching my daughter. It may take a few years before we use those words. But she'll know which road to take long before she can spell the name.
FYI - Pat is not the individual's real name. Think Saturday Night Live.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
We decided to wait until later this week to go get it. I'm going to a crop today and it would kill me not to take it with me. When I told him that he said, "Oh we should go get it so you can take it!" While that was a nice suggestion, I want to have something to open on Friday so I decided to wait. I know a few of you are now try to recovery from a serious case of shock but I swear it's true.
Since the shock quotien is already high here comes another one for you. Jay you might want to sit because this will surprise you most. I cooked a turkey today. AND....it was very good! It turns out I have a hidden talent.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Most of the gossip sites I frequent are all shallow...each site is shallow across the board. People is a somewhat reputable magazine when it comes to celebrity magazines. What bothers me about them is that they will do a story on eating disorders, thin models/celebrities and how it affects American women/girls. But that very same issue will have someone's weight splashed on the front of the magazine.
Now, I'm know the article with Tyra was meant to be a feel good, I'm secure with my weight story. BUT, by making a big deal out it, in my opinion, it has a negative effect. Am I making sense? If her weight isn't a big deal than don't mention it. Gotta go home. Maybe I'll finish this later.
Okay, a further attempt at explaining...my point is not what anyone's weight may be...Nicole Richie, Tyra or anyone else. My point is that I really think People (supposed to be a reputable celeb mag) is totally sending mixed messages. No, let me try this again. My issue is that weight, high or low, should not be news. Regardless of size, if the media continues to report on weight than it will continue to be an issue for women.
The article on Tyra, to me is a prime example. If she is a good weight and happy about it than leave it be. To me, by making her measly 161 lbs and 32 inch waist an issue they are saying "Oh look Tyra is chunky but still manages to be happy." Sorry but this story doesn't come across as a feel good, inspiring story to me. It's just another case of the media bring weight and size to the fore front....again.
Oh, and let's not start with comments on my size. Only a few years ago I was over 30 lbs heavier than I am now. I was also the largest of my friends. While I may not have been obese, I was still the "different" girl. And let's not forget my friend who was going to kill themselves if they were my weight.
Re-reading this, the paragraph above sounds nasty but I don't mean it to be. My point is that I haven't always been my current size.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
I was sitting in the washroom at work and had the following thoughts:
* Argh, I hate public washrooms.
* At least it smells better than yesterday
* Who is that lady washing her hands? (I could see out the crack of the door)
* Cripes, I'm not using that toilet paper. Who knows where it's been and who has had the grimy hands all over it. Why bother leaving a roll just sitting loose (not on the dispenser)? Let it get all touched by everyone while/after they've wiped themselves...gross.
* I wonder if other people will use it.
* Hee hee hee..."I wouldn't put my bird on the floor so why would I bring the floor to my bird?" Remembering a wise friend commenting on toilet paper rolls being placed on the floor (Yup, that's you Lisa!)
* Poor Susan.
Now while washing my hands:
* whistle, whistle, whistle
* Someday I'd like to break out in a really loud song in here...just for kicks.
* Oops, I almost touched that tap.
Now I will describe my obsessive handwashing ritual:
I get my paper towel and stuff it in my arm pit. Then I wash my hands with copious amounts of soap like a "normal" person. I dry my hands and use my paper towel to turn of the taps. (Hello! I just used my dirty hands to turn it on...touching it would completely wipe out the point of washing my hands) The I use the paper towel to open the door to leave, I keep my paper towel to open every door until I reach my desk. Finally, I throw the paper towel in the trash can in front of the photocopier for absolutely no reason other than habit. I NEVER change this routine. I would only consider missing a step if the building was on fire.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
That being said, I'm at home with JJ this afternoon. I had appointments at work this morning so the Mr. stayed home this a.m. and we traded off at noon. Last night around 9:30, JJ woke up crying and I noticed that her breathing was very raspy. She asked for a drink of water and went back to sleep. At 10:30 I'm laying in bed watching TV and I hear her cough a little bit, choke and than gasp for breath. Just ask me how fast I cleared that bed and landed in her doorway. Cripes, nothing scares be jebus out of me like a child who can't breath.
She cried for a little bit and her breathing was very raspy and sort of rumbled. It's hard to describe but I did not like it. You could tell that it was a hell of a lot of work for her to get a breath. I asked her if it was hard to breath and she said yes. By this time I have her on the kitchen counter and I 'm searching for an inhaler. She doesn't have asthma but the doctor prescribed it for a cough last year. The damn puffer was expired but I gave it to her anyway. I know, I know bad Momma but I just wanted to ease her breathing. I also rubbed some Vick's on her chest.
I didn't think she needed to go to the hospital but I got my bearings and stuff together just incase. Mr Princess was at basketball and I called him and ask him not to go for a beer afterwards incase she needed medical attention. Poor Mr Princess was banished to the spare room so JJ could sleep with me. For piece of mind, I needed to hear her breathing beside me all night. This morning I woke up to a little finger poking me saying "Momma, my throat is crusty."
We kept her home to keep an eye on her. Eric said there were times this morning that she even struggled to speak. Oddly enough, she has no cough. I tried to call the Dr but they aren't answering their phones today. I'll call first thing in the morning because this doesn't seem to be getting better. It totally disturbs me that my daughter sounds like a chainsaw when she breathes. Could be another long night....
Sunday, January 21, 2007
It's pretty tricky to have a surprise birthday party 2 weeks before the date! I had a great time!! I received tons of gifts which were all gift certificates in $30 denominations. The was one from Avalon Spa, Shoppers, mall dollars, CompuPro Scrapbooking, Stampin Up, Tim Horton's...I think I've missed a few. I apologize for that but it's not even 7 am yet. They had a tropical outfit for me to wear because they were trying to bring the tropics to me. Sweet huh? I'm sure pictures of my shell bra will hit the internet soon enough. I even received an letter from the Real Martha Sue Reporting Live from Manila!
Our waiter was hilarious!! After most of the wait staff in the restaurant sang happy birthday to me and announced to the whole place that it was my 30th birthday, he said I needed a shooter of some type. He wanted to bring me tequila but that would have killed me. A short while later he shows up with 2 shooters for me. Here is what he said "I said I would bring you something and since it's your 30th bithday, I thought you deserved a multiple orgasm." and then he sets to orgasm shooters on the table. I laughed so hard I could hardly drink them.
I also made a new friend lst night. His name was Nick. He just walked up and said hi. LOL.
I want to say thank you to everyone involved in making this party happen. I know it's not an easy feat to plan a surprise party for me. I can't help it...I just notice things. I know you all must have aged a few years during the planning over the past few weeks. In all honesty, I was truely surprised. I really had no idea. There was a slip on Friday but I really didn't think anything was going on with all of you.
Melanie told me there were 27 girlse invited - That's crazy! I didn't realize I had 27 friends. I guess the party was scheduled for Friday night but when it was postponed due to the weather not everyone could make it. But no matter, I still really appreciate that I even have 27 friends to be invited. Seriously, 27!! I was thinking about it last night when I couldn't sleep (not one single wise crack, not one!) and it boggles my mind that I know 27 people that I can honestly call good friends. I'm very, very fortunate. To all of you who were there last night - thank you so much, I had a ball. To those who couldn't make it - thank you so much, we missed you.
To the 27 real Princesses, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Friday, January 19, 2007
I thought I had it made to scrapbook well into the wee hours of the morning. Last night I went to bed at 7:30. That is not a typo. 7:30. I put JJ to bed and went into my own room because Mr. Princess was snoring on the couch in the living room. Incidentally, he told me he woke himself up twice due to the loud snoring...haha. I was laying in my nice warm, pillow top bed deep under my eye-searing yellow and orange duvet and I thought "Screw it, I'm staying right here until morning." and so I did. I got 11 sweet hours of uninterrupted slumber.
Unfortunately, I missed all the good Thursday night TV. The O.C (Ryan is my secret boyfriend...shhhh), Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy and CSI. I had no clue what everyone was talking about today. Oh well, I'm very well rested. I wanted to use my alertness to scrapbook but I do not want to preserve the crap I'm creating. I think I'll go watch my other boyfriend on TV...Curtis the take home chef.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I saw it again last night and I thought "Hmmm...which identity would I be today if I could choose?" I guess it all depends on the day. Today, I choose the identity of Social Super Woman. As Social Super Woman, I will save the world from a socio-economic stand point. I may only do it one person/family at a time but that is my goal.
This is going to sound a bit hoakie and cheesy but when someone really captures a spot in my heart, that spot belongs to them for life. I will pull out every trick, contact, idea, or resource I can possibly think of. Time makes no difference for me in these matters. I would like to help as fast as I can but I won't wear down easily. I can let things quiet down for a few months but when I see an opening and an opportunity to help again I'm like a rabid dog trying to to what I can. You can't get rid of me once I decide that I care.
Obviously something has sparked this in me again and I can't stop thinking about it. It consumes me and I just can't do enough. Just when I think I've exhausted all avenues, I come up with something else. Just for the record, this is not a work related, it's a personal relationship. I know a few of you out there know about this and I'd appreciate it if you maintained the confidentiality of this person.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
This a a photo that I took today looking off a little bridge on Rte 4 between Fredericton and St. Andrews. I must say I'm pretty impressed with this photo. I was driving along and saw this little spot. So I pulled over hopped out of the car and started snapping away. My fingers were tingling and starting to hurt after about 30 seconds. I wish I could have stayed a few more minutes but my fingers would have died and fallen off and I'm sorta partial to them and would like to keep them. I think I might get this photo printed and if it looks good in print I might get in blown up. We'll see.
I've been MIA for the past few days. I'm so tired I can hardly keep myself awake. This afternoon was desperate struggle against the exhaustion. I couldn't seem to do anything properly and it took be a long time to complete any task. Just sitting upright at my desk meant my body and brain had to work at full capacity. I'm heading for bed in a few minutes.
But first I'll tell you why I'm so tired. My dear, dear Mr Princess is an avid basketball player. Avid, I tell you, avid. He decided to play in Oromocto on Monday night in all that snow. Of course, that was after I talked him out of driving to Harvey. So, he meets his buddies at the Y and they car pool to O-town. They usually go for a beer after they plan and typically get home after midnight. I was nervous about him being out. In my defence someone we know was in a very serious car accident last week so I was more nervous that I would normally be.
I remember last looking at the clock at 11:10 pm before falling asleep. The next thing I know the phone is ringing and my heart skips a few beats before settling in my throat. I flew across the room in the dark to pick up the phone and my knees literally got weak when I heard Mr Princess' voice. He had that tone in his voice where you know something is wrong. He then tells me that he has locked his keys in the car and everyone has already left. I simultaneously feel relief that he is alright but dread at having to fix this problem. We only have one car so I was very limited in my options. What did I do? I called my dad.
My dad is the best. I called him at 11:45 pm and he came to get my keys then took them to the Mr at the Y. When I asked him this favour he was already in bed and he still said "Sure, I'll be right there." He didn't sigh in annoyance, or complain, or even hesitate. He immediately got dressed and came over. I don't hesitate anytime my parents ask me to help out but this is just a reminder of why I never hesistate.
So Mr Princess gets home around 12:30. What the hell took so long??? I didn't bother to ask. I was tired. Unfortunately, I didn't get back to sleep until 3:30 am. The phone ringing scared me and I had a hard time calming myself enough to get to sleep. I really only had 30 minutes sleep at the most before he called. All together I got maybe 3 hours sleep Monday night. I was tired yesterday but I always find the second day worse. Now that I've told my story I'm headed off to Lalaland.
Friday, January 12, 2007
We all know that Mel tells me she hates me on a regular basis because I have good luck. Things tend to go in my favour or I make things work out for me. Remember the incident where I closed the garage door on the car? Yesterday, my father was going to get his car, drive two blocks to pick me up at my mom's office, and drive me back the 2 blocks to my office. But, dammit, my mom told him I was joking. Today, I managed to have someone else offer to make my dish for tonight's potluck but I'll tell you about that tonight.
I was telling my co-worker about the potluck story. She rolls her eyes and says "You and your serendipity." Then she says "No, you've have it better. You have Sarahdipity!" I jumped out of me chair with glee. My eyes were shining with excitement and wonder. My voice rose an octave and a few decibels. All I could say is "I love it! My friends will love it!" In reality, I can already hear my friends groaning. Actually, I can clearly hear Mel saying "I hate you!" LOL..I can hear Jay saying "Good god." with a bit of disgust. The possibilities are endless! And you all know how much I *LOVE* new words.
Just when I didn't think today could get any better....it did. Let me leave you with just one thought....
I am a phenomenon, I am SARAHDIPITY!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
I had this brain-wave last night that I would straighten my hair just for the hell of it. What an ordeal. First I had to have a shower (not such a big deal), then I had to blow dry my hair and straighten it with a brush. Holy crap. It took 45 minutes and I really just looked like a pine tree with going through an identity crisis. My plan was to dry it last night and use the flat iron this morning to do the finishing touches. However, if I wanted to make it to work before noon that plan had to change. So, I plug in the flat iron and crank the heat in hopes it will speed up this process.
I would like to take this opportunity to say that I hate doing my hair. That should explain the state of my hair most days. In fact, one of my life mottos is "If I can't see it, then I don't care". How does this fit in with my hair most days? I can't see the back of my head so I don't care what it looks like. This motto also explains the ass shelf that is my posterior.
Have you ever hear hair scream? I think I have. I'm pretty sure my hair was screaming in agony as I mercilessly ran the super hot flat iron over it again and again. I pinned up my hair and fried small chunks at a time. All in all it took me 30 mins to complete the act of torture. I pulled it into a loose ponytail went to bed.
Fast forward to this morning. Obviously, I didn't shower this morning because of the hair straightening adventure. So my day is already "off" and I feel abnormal. Onto the hair! I plug in the flat iron to do some touch ups. My hair strands see me reach for the iron and recoil in horror...almost curling back up again from the shock, dammit. I spend another 20 mins straightening the hair doing touch ups.
Now, here I sit at my desk with straight hair. Was it worth it? Uh, no. All in all I spent over an hour and a half on my freaking hair. I absolutely cannot imagine why anyone would do that on a regular basis. I could do so much more with my time....like sleep. Oh well, I don't think it's going to be an issue again for a good long time anway. I'm pretty sure every strand of hair on my head would hop out and drop to the floor in protest if I ever try that stunt again.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
When I knocked at the door the dog went snakey. The owner put the dog on the couch where it sat with it's ears back, obviously afraid, and barking it's face off. Mistake #1 - I should have asked the owner to restrain the dog or put it in another room. I thought about it but let it go.
Last year we had a session on dog safety for our line of work. The dog handler spoke about 2 types of angry dogs - the agressive dog that wants to bite you and stands it ground and the dog that bites because you are scaring it and it feels it has no choice. The dog handler also told us how to deal with each type of animal. This dog was a classic example of the scared dog. I kept looking at the dog just to know where it was. Each time I looked at the dog it barked, pinned it's ears back, and snarled. Mistake #2 - I should have asked the owner to restrain the dog or put it in another room (see a pattern here?).
Anyway, the dog calms down because I'm not looking at it and I forget about it. In case you're counting that is mistake #3 - I forgot about the scared snarling dog. I go about the task I'm there for, thank the owner, gather my things, and stand to leave. I didn't look for the dog before I stood up. I start for the door and the dog lunges for me. The owner grabs the dog but the dog was so close to me that she was touching both the dog and I. Oye.
Do you know the big thing the dog handler told us? NEVER turn your back on the dog. Turn my back? Hell, I forgot it was even there.
That was my first visit was the day and of 2007. It was a good wake up call for me. I felt bad for the dog. The dog was just going on instinct and the lady did say at the beginning that the dog had been abused by a previous owner. Mistake #4 - I should have asked the owner to restrain the abused dog or put it in another room. This incident was truely my fault. I wasn't paying attention and I went against by better judgement. I won't make that mistake again.
Monday, January 08, 2007
* The sounds of someone clipping their nails at their desk..ewww. Hehehe...I wonder if they were clipping their finger nails or toe nails. Ewww again.
* People who refuse to use a tissue to remedy their runny nose and choose to sniffle it instead...that is beyond ewww...it makes me want to vomit on the floor.
* Super-loud phone talkers. So loud that I struggle hear myself think...it's not even one of our employees. I'm now very well versed on the goings on of the other dept that shares the floor with us.
* The "martyr" who comes to work sick because we all know that the workplace will cease to function if they are not here today. So, lucky us, they come to work and generously spread they stomach flu around so we all get a shot at it. Okay, that's actually last week AND today.
I'll be puking by the end of the day one way or antoher. :)
That's all. It's a short list but I think they are all valid annoyances. I'm not even having a bad day. These things just all happened to take place in a short span of time this morning.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Growing up, my dad made roast beef on a regular basis and it was always that consistency. I call it the stringy consistency because that's what it reminds me of when it's that "tender". Everyone just raved about how tasty it was and I just ate it because there was no other alternative. My dad has started using a meat thermometer in recent years and it is much better but still not my cup of tea. Having said that, my dad also BBQs roast beef and I love it! I will fight for the crispy end piece.
All this dislike of roast beef has lead me to the decision to take a stab at it myself. I really don't think it's going to make a difference. But it's worth a try. I seared it first to seal in the juices and now I'm cooking it at 350 degrees until the meat thermometer says it done (med-rare). We'll see how it goes.
JJ has just informed me that she wants to paint. I told her after supper. She then said she has a plan. Her plan is that the 3 chocolate chip cookies she just ate were her supper and that she'll paint while Eric and I eat. She now sitting beside me yammering on about her plan again. I can't help but laugh. She thinks that if she tells me a plan that it is how things will be done. I can't wait to inform her, later in life, that things don't come to fruition just because you say it's a plan. Hell if that were the case I wouldn't be sitting her right now. Because plan is to be somewhere tropical. Shit she told me not to go into the kitchen. That is 3 year old code for you should really come in because I'm doing something I shouldn't be. Hitting publish not taking time to check spelling.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Today at lunch I had a shot at being Employee of the Universe, Employee of the Millenium, and all around Bad Ass all wrapped into one. But I blew it. Sadly, I'm not even sure where I went wrong.
I was leaving the Regent Mall and when I walked by Toys R Us, there was an employee standing there with a much sought after Wii. I turned around so fast I'm sure I'll have whiplash in the morning. I said "How many of those do you have?" He answered 2 and I almost ran to the payphone. I called my boss, in a meeting I might add, and said "Paul! Toys R Us has 2 Wiis. Do you want me to buy one?" He said no he wouldn't feel right about that but we worked out a plan and I went back.
In the store I go and I sashay (you all know I like to sashay) up to James the World Sales Leader - that's really what his name tag said, I swear on JJ's head. I say to James "My boss would really like to have a Wii and could I give you a $*** deposit and he'll come up and pay the rest at 3pm?" James hums and haws for a minute and says they really can't do it. I say "Are you really the World Sales Leader?" He says no that just call the sections of their store "worlds". Whatever. Then I ask him if Paul can call in with his credit card number and just pick it up later. No dice. So as a last and pitiful effort, I say "But its for my boss and I would be the best employee ever." He laughs but won't give in. I leave confused by the universe and not understanding why my Princess Power is not working. I came back to the office and called him again. I offered once more to go buy it for him but he wouldn't hear of it.
I saw Melanie on the way out of the mall and got her to call Nic. I would have called but my cell phone was dead. Hopefully, she manages to get there to get one. Good luck. I'd offer my Princess Powers to help you out but they seem to be on the blink.
Susan, I really think it's great that you have taken this opportunity. I know you must be feeling realms outside of your comfort zone. But you should be so proud have done this. You have travelled over 24 hours to get there, nagivated the Hong Kong airport, survived the car ride there, said "see you later" to your family, accepted the challenge of teaching, LEFT BEHIND TIM HORTONS, and all of this in a non-english speaking country! This will be a once in a life time opportunity and you should be proud that you are rising to the challenge.
We're all looking forward to reading about your adventres. We are all sorta living this adventure with you. Now, go have an adventure for us. Oh, are you going to try eating weird and wonderful things while you're there? An appetizer of snake soup perhaps??
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Last night out of the blue she starts singing "I Love Rock and Roll". She sings quite well when she wants too. The parts of the song she knew, she sang very well. She sang the right words, she sang the right notes in the right order, and her pitch was quite good too. I loved it. It caught me off guard so I didn't get it on video. That will be my goal for tonight.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
JJ just had her first major freak out, meltdown whatever you want to call it. The kid was nekked and out of control. I was washing her hair and we were being silly and trying to get it done really fast. In my hast, I made the critical error of changing the routine. I forgot to let her smell the shampoo and dip her nose in it before I put it in her hair. She was pissed. I quickly put some in my hand and let her smell it but she was already well on her way to a category 5 meltdown. I quickly rinsed her hair and tried to calm her down but it was useless. So I drained the tub and walked out her her while she through a fit. I let her go for about 5 minutes and went back into talk to her.
This time I tried the whole use your big girl words, what can we (she and I) do to make her feel better, I'm sorry your upset but this is not acceptable thing. She heard "Blah, Blah, Blah..." Her response to me was to bend down and scream in my face with all her might. Fun. So I lifted out out of the tub and took her to her room. I took her out of the tub for fear she might split her head open when it started to rotate on her shoulders and vomit started to spew from her mouth. I tend to fall down when that happens.
Now in her room, she is beyond pissed...she if flippin' livid. I mean livid. So she hits me. I pull out a chair and calmly tell her she is in time out for hitting. What does she do? Shoved me with 2 hands as hard as she can. As little patience as I may have sometimes I have to say I keep my cool with her. I set her back in the seat. I put herback in the chair a few more times before she has had enough of that crap. She launches a full on assault. She is kicking, punching and hitting me with everything she has in her. I'm still calm telling her she cannot hit and that she is having a time out for hitting me. At this point she hears nothing. She has lost all sense of control. She has snot running down her face and is screaming like I'm sitting on her and ramming baboo shutes under her fingernails. Oh, while I'm telling her she is is time out she is screaming "Tubby, I want back in the tubby!" I swear she sounded only partially human. She got away twice and threw herself in the tub. Like any good parent, I locked the bathroom door. At this point, I was seriously concerned she would hurt herself in the wet, slippery tub.
I left her in the hallway and walked away form her. Clearly even the sight of me was completley infuriating the child. I walked away from her to give he a minute but she followed and decided to kick the shit out of me again. I felt I had no choice but to take something away form her. Enter Bingo Shutters. I took Bingo Shutters. The child is no longer acting human after I did that. In hindsight, I'm not sure that was wise choice on my part because it just made her angrier. But really, I was at a loss at that point and she was kicking my ass. She child is over 40 lbs and 42 inches tall. FYI - Eric is not home. She went completely ballistic. Five minutes earlier I would have thought it impossible for her to be any angrier - I was wrong, very, very wrong. I tried to deal with her for another few minutes and then called my mom. I was still calm but the child needed someone and I was clearly not that someone. By this time it was going on 45 minutes.
My mom arrived and calmed her down a bit. In the end, she just wanted her Momma. She and my mom talked about the incident when I was out of the room. When I came back in JJ says "Momma, if you are angry you should just say I need to go to my room to calm down." LOL...it was cute. Hopefully, she'll remember her own advice. I explained to her that I was not angry with her at all. Her answer? "Oh"....it as if she thought "Well, shit you should have told me lady."
Anyway, we are buds again and everything is fine. She is sleeping. I weathered my first real out of control episode. I'd love to think this was the one and only but somehow I doubt it. Although my mom did say I never did anything like that...so there is hope.
Monday, January 01, 2007
I'm sitting here in my bedroom thinking about the past year and all it has held for me. I'm really sitting in here because Mr P and JJ and eating chips. I really can't stand to listen to other people eat chips. Psychotic but true...I accept it.
I guess when I think back at the last year I notice that everything seems to revlove around the week I spent in the hospital. Oddly, I used that week to determine timelines, when events took place and stuff like that. I was only in there for a week and it's not like my life has been altered since but I've never had closure. My stomach still gives me alot of trouble and I don't think I can get passed the fact that they don't know what is wrong with me. I'm thankful they ruled out cancer, colitis and crohns disease. That leads me to think of some close friends who have had loved one be close to death this year. Luckily, they pulled through but none of them seem to be 100% yet. Hopefully, this year will bring them better health.
This past year had brought me stronger friendships. People who were perhaps acquaintances in the past are now close, cherished friends. They've enabled me to weed some people out of my life who just weren't healthy. Au revoir Homer!! You sometimes you find really good friends that you never expected and other friends who just aren't what you thought. My theory is that you should just jump on for the ride and take it for what it is. Otherwise, you may miss out on something really good. I guess that's my theory for life in general and a good part of the reason many of you consider me your guinea pig for everything.
My ups have definitely outweighed my downs this year. Most of my downs seem to have been indirect. Meaning it's been difficult to watch family members or close friends go through rough times. But they are all tough cookies and have or will make it through.
My most fond memories this year took place in Shediac. We rented a cottage for a week as usual. We spent our days walking to the beach, building castles, throwing the ball for the dog, swimming, cuddling and having fun. At night we had campfires, sparklers, movies, walks at the beach and ice cream. I love watching Eric and JJ playing in the surf together. Most of the week it was just our family of 3 and the dog. We had a great time and I can't wait to do it again. I'm sure this coming summer will be even better than last. I can't help but think of the night we were at this little park on Main St in Shediac. JJ had to pee and there was no place for her to go. I took her in a little corner and taught her to squat to pee. Since then I've been trying to convince her that squatting outside to pee is not really appropriate.
Save the best for last - my baby girl. She has changed so much over the last year. She's a preschooler now instead of a toddler. She still has a lisp but she says macaroni instead of pacaroni. She is pigheaded, independant, stubborn, persistent, loveable, sweet, affectionate, carefree, artistic, and fun-loving all wrapped into a 42 inch tall package. I think my highlight was about 6 months ago when she was sitting on the flush and she looked at me and said "Momma, you're my best friend."
So there you have it. A few thoughts that popped into my head. You won't find any New Year's resolutions from me. I'm not against them, I just have never bothered to make them. I thought about it while reading everyone else's resolutions. But, realistically, they would only be the same things I tell myself every other day anyway...be more patient and get off your lazy ass. I'm going to break the mold and this will be the one day a year I WON'T tell myself to be a better person. :)