Someone Pass the Bottle

Lord love a duck...I went to the Superstore at lunch time. I often get groceries at the Superstore on the northside at lunch time without any problems. Today was a nightmare and I was only picking up a few things. I was in line to pay for 20 freaking minutes. I just about died 5 times over.
I have issues with being late. If I'm not at least 5 minutes early I start to panick. I had to be back at work at 12:30 (I left at 11:30) and I was just paying at 12:20. I still had to go home to put the perishables in the fridge. Part of the problem was that they didn't have enough cashiers working. Another issue was the the cashier for the line I was in wouldn't shut her pie hole long enough to ring things in. She kept talking to an elderly man, who really was sweet, but the lines were ridiculous and she needed to haul ass.
As I said I have issues with being late. So I keep looking at my watch and the later it gets, the more worked up I get. By the end of it, my heart is racing, my hands are shaking, and I'm pretty much grabbing the bags out of her hand and throwing them back in the cart. I'm sure she thinks I'm a lunatic but she's too afraid to say anything.
I get my stuff, FINALLY pay and run for the door. This is more difficult than you might imagine because I'm wearing stupid high heels and my cart has a rogue wheel (you know the kind). I barrell out into the parking lot not even looking for cars before I cross. They should just *know* that I'm in a hurry and do what I want. Next I cut off a man pulling out of a handicapped spot and I'm still walking, not even in the car yet. I throw the groceries in the trunk and give my cart a big push to the cart corral across the way. I didn't even walk it over...it make it all the way over. I was pretty impressed with my cart shoving ability.
I cut off a few cars on my way home, get the stuff in the house and make myself a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. I'd like to add here that I'm cursing that damn cashier at this point because I don't like peanut butter sandwiches but it's the fastest thing I can think of.
I get back on the road and all is clear until Maple St. For Pete Sake (replace this with the vulgar swearing I really used) I got stuck behind a mother loving tractor. Really, I should have just accepted defeat, pulled over, and given up. But I'm the Princess. So I rode his ass to the bridge and gave him a dirty look as I passed him.
I finally get back to work and pull around to the back of the building where I have a reserved spot just for me. Holy shit, wasn't there a half ton truck parking in my spot?!?!?! I thought this lady must have a death wish. Luckily for all parties involved she took my subtle hint of death stares and finger tapping on my steering wheel and cleared out. Believe you me, she did not want to go head to head with the Princess today. I get parked, run inside, whip of my coat, and go to apologize to my supervisor being 30 minutes late.

HE'S NOT HERE.