Name Theory

I know you all love my theories so here is another one. I mentioned the Name Thoery in my 100 things about me list. I decided to write about it before I forget.
This theory is specific to female names and it goes like this. I think that names fit into 2 categories, they are either lawyer names or hooker names. I find this theory particularly useful when naming babies. It doesn't matter how cute Tallulah Bluebell sounds and how much it makes you giggle, it is not suitable for a 30 year old woman. If I met a 30 year old woman named Tallulah Bluebell I think I would instinctively want to beat her up. :) Anyway, this is how it works, pick a female name and ask yourself - Is this a hooker sounding name or a female sounding name. I'm going to give a few examples but before I do, I apologize profusely if I use a name belonging to you or your loved ones...it's not intentional. Okay here we go...
Trixie - hooker
Katherine - lawyer
Candy - hooker
Julia - lawyer
Mitzie - hooker
Sophie - lawyer
Now if anyone tries to comment and say these names aren't hooker names I'll say you're on drugs.
As much as we'd like to think our society judges people fairly, it's just not true. Here is part 2 of the theory - If you were looking for a lawyer, and for the sake of arugment, had no references...you just have to open the phone book and choose a name. All other things being equal, are you going to choose Katherine Woodford or Candy Cain???
I know you're all nodding your head in agreement over this and if you feel you want to nominate me for some sort of pretigious genius award, who am I to try and stop you. If the shoe fits.....