Eyes Wide Open

Well, I received a bit of an eye-opener last week. I had a wellness profile done on Wednesday and they checked things like blood glucose, cholesterol, BMI, weight and then I answered a bunch of questions online. When I was all done, they took the info and produced a 14 page report on your overall wellness and strategies to improve your wellness.
My report came back saying I'm in very good health. My BMI and glucose levels were in a healthy range, and I'm apparently sane. Get this - everyone is supposed to receive a numeric value for cholesteral level. However, mine didn't even register a number. They did it twice and it came back LO. I was quite surprised.
The "not-so-nice" part of the profile was the weight section. I got on the scale and the number came up. I jumped off and asked him to do it again. Same number. Yikes - I had a 14 lbs increase in about 6 months and it's all in my stomach. Not cool. Time to make some adjustments.
In my house, we don't talk about being large, or, thin. We talk about being Heart Healthy. Heart disease runs in my family and I carry my weight in my stomach, that gives me 2 major risks factors for heart disease. I take this very seriously.
I already eat, probably, better than average. I exercise but I'm not fanatical or even committed about it. I try to do some cardio a few times a week but sometimes I get to it and some times I don't. Since Wednesday I've done 30 minutes of cardio every day and I'm going to continue with that. I'm not going to lie. I want to see those pounds go down but more importantly I need to make sure my heart is getting that workout. I may not be super athletic but I'm moving and that's a start. Now I've told the world my intentions. Hopefully that accountability and my own motivation will keep me on this track. I just need to get it firmly embedded as part of my daily routine.

Hey, Sister, are you reading this?!?!?!?

Outta Here....

Well, in 3 1/2 long months. I'm going to Jamaica bitches! It's been a long wait but I'm finally going back. I'm going to be there for my birthday. Now, I have to go get on the treadmill. You can likely find me there until January 28, 2011.

A Close 4th

I really love the summer, the beach, and warm weather. So, of course, June, July, and August are my favourite months. But I have to say that I also love October. I love the fiery red trees, the fall decorations you see around, and the flavours that come out this time of year. Yup, October is definitely my fourth favourite month. Can I get a Whoop Whoop for number 4??

Refreshing

Oh how I love your holier-than-thou attitude. It's like the smell of dog poo on a sunny spring day.

Feeling the Need for a Little Vent

I'm not sure if there is a full moon right now or what. But, I swear, the dumb asses are crawling out from under rocks and multiplying in droves. I have a few things to stay about some of those dumb asses and then I'll try to be nice fore the rest of the day.

There will be a lot of painting going on my my house in the next little while. If you plan on being around, don't just stand there and watch me. Pick up a stupid brush. I don't need a cheering squad, I need to be done.

Hey you, pregnant girl. You are not the first, only, or even last person to be pregnant. You think being pregnant is bad? Wait until childbirth! And let me tell you, child-rearing is no walk in park either.

And you, breast-feeding girl - see the above comment about first, only, and last. OMG.

Word Whiz, this next one is for you - real pretty, real bad, real cute? Holy hell, did you skip English class every single day. While I'm on the topic, hisself and contipate are not words. Since we're all making up words nilly-willy, I know pronounce dumbassedness to be a valid word. You're welcome Webster's Dictionary.

And You, You, You, and You - how about you returning my fucking call for once? Valued customer my ass!

Um, No Thanks

The Littlest Princess had her first voice lesson tonight and she did very well. She was talking the teacher's ear off and hardly letting the woman get a word in edgewise. Finally, the teacher was able to say her piece and got things started so I left. When I returned, JJ was all smiles and thought the lesson was great.
JJ was telling me about the lesson in the car and started singing a song about dinosaurs. I said "Hey that's a great song!" and JJ says "Yeah, Teacher asked me if I wanted to sing a song about dinosaurs. I told her I was more of a cat and dog person." Oye.

Kabob Day 3

Last night was Steak Dinner on a Stick. It was pretty run of the mill, to be honest. Steak flavoured with Montreal Steak Spice, those little potatoes from the can, and onions. I served it with salad. It was good but nothing to write home about. I believe I've now spoiled myself with those other fancy schmancy kabobs.

Side note and totally off topic - I was at the $$ store on Prospect St last night and you'll never guess what happened! I was at the cash register and I was 2nd in line to pay. The girls in front of me and 2 carts FULL of stuff. There were probably 6 other customers behind me also waiting to pay so the cashier calls for another cash to open. The new cashier arrives and she says "I can help whoever is next, over here." Usually that means the person at the end of the line makes a made dash to get there first. This is the amazing part - Not one person in line moved. One even touched me and said "You're next." So I made my way around the line to the other cash register and I'm stunned and totally pleased at the civility and thoughtfulness being exhibited here. Then a lady appears out of nowhere and pops up to the cash ahead of me. The cashier said to her "I'm sorry but this lady (pointing at me) has been waiting much longer." Holy hell! I'm flabbergasted. That has never happened to me before. The $$ store on Prospect St is straight out of another world and I think it might be staffed by fairies. Lovely glowing little fairies with my best interest at heart. Yup, that HAS to be it.

Kabobs Day 2

Last night it was Pork Souvlaki on a Stick. Most times souvlaki is already "on a stick", however, I put the entire meal on the stick. I skewered pork that I purchased already marinated in souvlaki seasoning, red peppers, onions, and tomotoes. I grilled some Naan bread and served it all with Tzatziki sauce. There you have it Pork Souvlaki on a Stick.

Deep Thoughts

As you reach mid-life, keep this little tidbit in mind - Your skirt length should not rise with your age. Ass cheeks and cellulite are skirt accessories best left for home and a ruffle doesn't hide it.

Kabob Challenge

I have decided that I'm going to eat shish kabobs for supper every night this week. I can't really remember what gave me this idea but I'm on board. Yesterday I added to the challenge by deciding that my kabobs should have a theme each day. They will all be own creations and the idea here is simplicity. I'll let you know what I come up with

Last night I had Jambalaya Kabobs - I skewered chunks of Honey Garlic sausages, scallops, tiger shrimp (I seasoned the seafood with Old Bay). I served the kabobs with rice that flavoured with chicken stock and Old Bay. I also BBQ'd corn on the cob and served it with garlic butter. Voila! Jambalaya on a stick, folks!

Grammar 101

"Hisself" is not a word. Try "himself" instead and see out that rolls of the tongue. Hearing "hisself" makes me want to poke out my eyeballs.

Keep a Cover On It

OMG...I just want to look at people and say "I hate you. Go away." in a nice calm voice. Instead, I'm going to go check my lottery tickets, pick up some Cheeseburger Doritos, and some mint. Because if today doesn't call for a healthy round of mojitos, I don't know what does. I think I'll end the day by bashing my head against the wall... repeatedly.

Dry Spell Over!

Well now, that was a bit of a dry-spell but it's over. I've have LOTS to say, all of a sudden.

First, you must go out and try some Cheeseburger Doritos. Don't wait, go now. Just minimize the screen and you can finish reading this post later. GO!

Just so you know, me eating Cheeseburger Doritos driving down the highway is not pretty. I was a little piggie and I'm pretty sure I'm going to find leftovers in my bra later.

All sense of professionalism, decorum and, certainly, grace and sophistication go straight out the window when you step in mud up to your ankle while walking and talking with a client. It seeped through my toes and up over my entire foot and sandal. Trying to rub the mud off your foot in the grass and then bending down and rubbing your shoe on the grass while looking up and talking does not help regain any dignity. At all.

The level of nosiness and resulting outrage exhibited by people in this small city over the most ridiculous issues never ceases to amaze me. It always bring me back to the, always appropriate, quote from our very own Ames, "There are dumb asses amongst us!" Never have truer words been spoken!!

If you are a small business owner catering to a VERY specific niche/clientele, perhaps youshoud refrain from pissing off your customers by acting like a holier-than-thou moron. Yeah, I mean you. And FYI, you are NOT as cute as you think you are. Now, please excuse me while I go tell 10 friends. I expect they will tell 10 of their friends and so on and so forth.

Friday?

Hey Friday! You suck!

Monday Rant

So Facebook. I'm not a Facebook lover and I never have been. I check it a few times a day but I use it mainly for reasons other than personal. I rarely send out friend requests on Facebook (FB from here on out) and I'm not very active on FB at all. If you want to get in contact with me, FB is not the place to do it. I likely won't get your message for a few days (if you send it to my inbox) or at all (if you post it on my wall). Get me the old fashion way....email or phone. :) Just because I don't keep in contact with you on FB doesn't mean I don't like you....it just means I don't really like FB. It's too time consuming to keep up with that much crap. Especially those who document every movement they make in their status. Seriously, I don't care what you had for lunch and that you intend to eat supper too. Billions of other people are going to do the very. same. thing. today.

So here is my Monday Rant about FB. Well, not really a rant so much as me saying "I just don't get it." What is up with giving people limited access to profiles anyway? If you send out a "friend" request or accept one from somebody aren't you imply some level of trust? Then why give limited access? If you don't want them to see things or know things about you then reject the request or don't send it at all. I know someone out there is thinking "What a narrow point of view. What about this and this and this?" The way I see it, is that if you feel the need to hide it from someone or anyone.....don't put it on the internet at all. Once it's out there, it's out there for good. Set up all the passwords you like, it's still out there.
So here's my deal - If you need to limit my access to your profile, just delete me as a friend. I probably won't notice anyway.

Answer Me, Dammit!

Earlier today, Shelley was telling me a story about something that happened the other day. I was surprised by what she was telling me and I said "OMG, really?" but she didn't answer and kept on talking. As she continues telling the story, I say "But how did she know where to find it?" Again, she ignores me and keeps talking. It was at that point that I remember I was listening to a voicemail and not having a live conversation. In my defence, it totally sounded just like her! ;)

I Love You, Friday

I haven't always loved Fridays. In fact, in the not so distant past, I dreaded every second Friday when the Littlest Princess wouldn't be with me. I still miss her the weekends she is with her dad but I deal with it better now.
Last weekend I actually went camping in St. Andrews. Yup, camping, like in a trailer and stuff. Aside from a dangerously close call of almost falling in the campfire, I returned home Sunday in one piece. Dirty and smoky, but in one piece.
This weekend is supposed to be a hot one, my favourite kind. The plan is pretty simple - go to the pool after work, go home, sleep, get up, take JJ to a birthday party, pick her up, go to the pool, go home, sleep. Sunday is supposed to be not so nice so I might scrapbook.
You know, I love my job, my co-workers, and even the organization I work for. But I need to win the lottery tonight because there are far more things I'd rather be doing than working. FYI - if I win tonight the weekend plans will change significantly. Don't bother looking for me.

Stupid Birds, Stupid Long Days

Someone must sit down with my cat and my daughter and explain to them that 4:30 a.m. is completely unacceptable. Someone should also explain to the cat that sitting on my head at that ungodly hour does not improve my disposition. On the bright side, the child did not sit on my head. She wins over the cat on that account but they're both still on my shit list.

Thought for the Day

Your opinion holds absolutely no validity for me if you have to hide behind the "name" Anonymous. In fact, the names Anonymous and Coward are strikingly similar.

Beware!

Thinking about sending your dog to a kennel in the F'ton area? Please take the time to read this first - Beware! Be the voice and the advocate for your pet.