Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Cocooning

Some days I'm just tired of fighting "the good fight". Bad fight, good fight, whatever, I'm tired just tired of it. I'm tired of everything being such a struggle. When I'm tired of the struggle, my instinct is always to cocoon. I hunker down in bed with a blanket around me and all the other blankets on me with just my face sticking out. This is obviously rather uncomfortable in the summer. Today I really, really need to cocoon. However, I will haul myself up to the mall for laser hair removal instead. After that, I'm cocooning and I'll be out when I'm good and ready.

Monday, September 28, 2009

So Funny

Over to the left of the screen there you'll see a link to Dooce.com...I'll wait while you look. She has added a new feature to her blog - at the top right hand side there is a tab called "Hate". She is now regularly posting some of the hate mail she gets. She used to blog semi-regularly about the hate mail and those posts would crack me up. Now I can get a pretty much daily fix. That is some good shit, I tell you. I find it down-right hilarious because these people are so upset with her. Seriously, if you don't like her writing then STOP READING IT! Rocket science, I know.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Just Shut Your Pie Hole Already

I have a defect. It's the fact that I don't seem to have a filter between my brain and my mouth. I have a thought and it immediately comes out my mouth without any pit stops along the way. This exchange took place in the washroom this afternoon.

Me: (walking into the stall) "It smells like horse manure in here!"
Co-worker: "Yes, someone just left."
Me: "OH! I didn't think that was human....(not done talking but she cuts in)"
Co-worker: "It is."
Me: "I mean I thought something was wrong with the air vents or plumbing."
Co-worker: ....silence.....
Me: "Yeah, next time I'll just keep that to myself."
Co-worker: "Yes."

Case in point.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Love Your Pics ;)

I know you think the photos of you dancing at a club that you posted on Facebook are really hot. But, really,the pics of you with the sweat marks on your shirt right under your boobs should be saved for your eyes only. No need to share everything on Facebook. There is a lesson to be learned here - Boob sweat stains are, most certainly, not hot. You can take that one to the bank.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Klassy and Sophisti-ma-cated

The black bra under your thin white blouse is fan-fucking-tastic and professional to boot. Knock'em dead in that meeting you just walked into.