Letters of the Holiday Variety

Dear Christmas,

This year for the first time in a number of years, I'm going to kick your ass this time...instead of the other way around.

Love, S.
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Dear Bob Marley,

I'm sorry but I'll be cancelling our "every second Christmas" date this year. I know you're disappointed but I will make it up to you in Jamaica in January. You'll also be happy to know I'm planning to keep my pants on for Christmas this year.

Love, S.

10 Minutes in Walmart

I can accomplish alot of things (and spend alot of money) in only 10 minutes in Walmart. I managed to following:
* spend $48.00
* saved a ton of cash because every single item was on sale
* got all the fixings I need for cocktails
* got almost all the fixings for appetizers
* splashed mud all up the side of my pants
* made 3 new old man friends. The first time they talk to you it's friendly, second time you're developing a relationship. By the time they say "Bye Dear and Have a Merry Christmas!" after speaking to you two other separate times in the store, you are officially BFFs. Three - I made 3 in 10 minutes. I'd say 4 but I'm not certain that the man standing so close that he touched my ass counts as a friend. Yet.

She's a Wheel Watcher!

My daughter is a creature of habit. Every day she watches the same shows. Actually, she rarely watches anything that is not broadcast on channel 252. She doesn't get that from me, I tell you. I'm a channel flipper. I'm always afraid I'm missing something better on another channel.
Every night for the past 2 or so years, the Littlest Princess has watched ICarly at 7 pm in her bedroom. That changed on Monday night.
Monday night, she walked into the livingroom and saw that Wheel of Fortune on tv and said "Mind if I watch with you?" She sat down and after a few seconds proclaimed how much she loved the show and proceeded to watch the whole thing. Last night at 7 pm I said "It's time to snuggle down and watch your tv in your room." She said "Okay, can I watch that Wheel of Jeopardy show again?" I told her she could certainly watch Wheel of Fortune if she wanted. I also asked if she wanted me to watch with her. She said it didn't matter to her but she was watching in her room. Fine the, Miss Thang!
I did go watch the show with her and at one point she turned to me and said "That woman looks like an idiot walking back and forth in front of the words." I asked her please not to call people names and idiot is not an nice word. Then I solved the puzzle.
I think itis a crack up that my 7 year old loves Wheel of Fortune. Just wait until she turns 8. Then it'll be no more Mrs Nice-Mommy when it comes to playing. She has roughly 8+ months to hone her "Wheel Skills" before I unleash my full competitiveness.

You Don't Think You're a Bully?!?!?!

I stumbled across this article when I was reading a blog that Jay has link to her blog. The entire article is completely and utterly offensive. But what makes me shake my head is that the woman who wrote the article doesn't think she's being a bully or offensive! I don't feel I need to comment on this much further. The bitch speaks for herself.

Goodbye, Buddy

Today is a sad day. I have to put my dog to sleep this afternoon. Oliver has been "mine" since the day I brought him home and a cute little black lab puppy. The dog stayed with my ex-husband when we split up because I thought it was the best thing for Oliver and for my daughter. But I still love him and today is a terrible day.
Apparently, he hasn't been eating and took a turn for the worse over the weekend. XH told me about it yesterday and we both agreed that we needed to put him out of his misery. The call was made to the vet this morning and we go at 1:30. I hate to see the end but, to be honest, I wish the appointment was earlier. I guess Oliver couldn't even get up on his own the morning. He has been such an amazing dog and I just don't want him to suffer a minute longer. I saw him yesterday and the suffering was so clear in his eyes. XH will take him to the vet, I will meet them there, XH will leave and I will stay with Oliver. I'll make sure he knows we love him and that he was the best companion we could ask for, I will wrap my arms around him, put my face close to his, and hold him until he is gone.
Today is a sad day but at least Oliver's suffering will end. Thanks for being such a good friend, Buddy.

We Have a Plan and High Hopes

Monday morning was cold and I really, really dislike the cold. As the Littlest Princess and I were getting in the car I said "That's it! I've had enough!". JJ said "Had enough of what, Momma?" I said "Winter and cold! I have plan. I'm going to win the lottery, quit my job and you're going to quit school. We are going to move a warm tropical place, I'll hire a teacher to teach you while we play on the beach." To which JJ said "Mom a warm tropical place would be Florida." I replied "Actually there are lots of countries that are warm all year round." She said "Like Hawaii! Let's live in Hawaii." SOLD! Then I said "You can learn about whatever you want with your private teacher. If you see a dolphin in the surf, you can ask to learn about dolphins. " JJ said "So we'll be rich, right?" and I said "Yes, very." The Littlest Princess said "Can I have a pony?" and I said "Sure and we'll hire someone to scoop the pony poop too. Because we'll be rich." Then came the bubble burster "Momma, how do we win the lottery?" Sigh, good feelings gone. I had to explain that we will probably never win the lottery. She was alright with it. I'm pretty sure she thought I was nuts from the minute the conversation started anyway. She is a good sport. If we win, I'll buy her 2 ponies just for putting up with her crazy, delusional mother.