Just a Little Something to Consider

Dressing in neon green from head to toe...without anything (belt, other color etc) to break up the greeness...makes you look like a walking, talking glow stick. A real treat for the eyes.

The Curse

I am totally cursed with seeing too much. As I've mentioned in the past, I notice things that most other people don't. It is a curse because sometimes I see things I don't want to see and then I'm stuck trying to figure out what to do.

One thing I continually see is people drinking in their cars at the liquor store. Have you ever noticed a person coming out of the liquor store and cracking open their goods right there in the car before pulling out? I'm sure some people have seen it once or twice. I see it almost every time I go to the liquor store lately. I'm sure I'm seeing it more often because I'm looking for it. It drives me crazy. I'm so torn over it. I want to call the police because my friends and family are out on those roads. But if I called the cops every time I saw that, they would start to think I was some sort of crazy drinking and driving vigilante who hangs out at the liquor store looking for offenders.

Tonight a greasy man in a silver Chev truck licence plate CNB 760 cracked open his pint of rum before he even closed the door to his truck. Oh, if you recognize this truck please get this asshat some help or give him a big FU for me. He really disturbs me because it was only 6:15 pm. It's only supper time and he can't wait until he at least gets home to get his drink on?

This guys behaviour enrages me. I have absolutely zero tolerance for drinking and driving. If he doesn't place any value on his life so be it. But pick a method to die that won't harm others. I don't care what happens to him. That may sound callous but its true, I really don't care. But I do care about the innocent victims he will harm when he finally, and he will, causes an accident. I hope he puts himself in a ditch and gets caught before he hurts someone other than himself.

Mr. Inappropriate - Appearing At Wendy's Today

JJ and I are on vacation this week. Yesterday we had a really fun day at Magic Mountain with some friends. Today we are doing little things to pass the rainy day. We booked her b-day party at the Clay Cafe, picked out the cake at the Superstore, and bought a little present for someone. All that brought us to lunch time so we decided to go to Wendy's.

We arrived at Wendy's just before the lunch rush. As luck would have it we ran into a friend there and ended up having someone to eat with. As JJ and I stood up to leave, an older man in a black Harley Davidson skull cap with flames, cut off jean shorts, a shirt unbuttoned to his navel with about 4 gold chains on display walks up to JJ. He makes a gun with his finger and thumb, puts his hand between her eyes like that and shoots her! He actually make the shooting sound and then said "Gotcha!" My jaw was on the floor. I was just about to inform him of how inappropriate he was and then he gives her a loonie. OH. MY. GOD.

How many ways can one person find to be inappropriate?!?! He shot my daughter between the eyes. Then gives her money. And he is a perfect stranger. Maybe he is a retiree looking to get into the pedophile business. I was flabbergasted. My daughter is rarely fearful of anything. I've had many many conversations with her urging her not to talk to strangers. Thank god she had the sense to be fearful of this freak and she hid behind me. At least he didn't ask her to help him find his lost puppy. Asshole.

I Think I Might be Dead

Well, I've been working 12-14 hour days since last Thursday and I'm not certain if I'm dead or alive. The muscles in the back of my body from my lower back to my feet not only hurt to use them, but they hurt to touch. This is the first time since last Thursday that I've had time to just sit here. At this moment, I'm watching furniture installers unload a tractor trailer full of stuff. I'm sure I won't be sitting long but it's a nice change for the usual 12 hours of constant running I've been doing.

I guess all this to say that I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. I'm just locked in a new office building 12-14 hours per day. Believe it or not, we're having fun and watchign the cute movers work isn't such a bad deal either. Yesterday I got to go for a drive in big tractor trailor truck. It was my first time being in one. Tuesday I won my very first filing cabinet race. No new "firsts" for me on Monday. I guess I'll soon see what today holds for me. My short break has ended because someone found me and my superpowers are needed. I'm off to move more boxes.

Bossy Pig

Sigh, I'm afraid my child is a bit stunted in some areas of her learning. Last night, she called called me a bossy pig. You maybe remember THIS but I swear it is out of character for her. She clearly does not understand. She kept apologizing for calling me bossy and saying "But I didn't call you the other kind of pig, you know snotty. I promise I'll never call you that kind of pig again." I tried to explain that to her that calling someone any kind of pig is not nice but she does not get it and I'm not sure I want to push it. I mean she is right in the sense that I am bossy. But I am not a pig....even if I do snort when I laugh really hard.

No Buts About It

Lately, it seems there is always one word that totally describes my day from a work standpoint and a personal standpoint. Often I'll just be sitting there and it'll come to me. One day it was "unwillingness" that term just seemed to fit everything about that day. Earlier this week it was "if" what if, I'll do this if, we'll do this if...blah, blah, blah IF! It's only 8:34 am and I already know today is "but". It started with me thinking I'll stay at my desk all day today. It wasn't in the office 5 minutes and.....BUT reared it's ugly head.

We're moving to our new office building soon and there is so much to do. I knew this would be a big project but I wasn't expecting to be this involved. It's been a great opportunity to learn about things I would never touch otherwise. However, it has also made it glaringly obvious to me that this line of work is not for me. I'm a client oriented kind of girl.

As part of this project, I have to manipulate a spread sheet that is going involved over 6300 entries...twice. I got the info yesterday and I put off starting it. It is a critical item and I must do it today. My plan was to sit at my desk all day and hammer it out BUT I had to go to something else within 5 minutes of my arrival. I should have started it when I got back from the other task BUT I needed to take a minute to simmer down for a few minutes first.

Now I'm done this post and geared up to start BUT I'm sure something else with come up. I can hardly wait for the BUT that comes up outside of work. It might go something like this "I wasn't going to park in your reserved parking space BUT..." My response might be "I wasn't going to kick your ass BUT...."

She's an Ecclectic Sort

This morning on the way to work, JJ was sitting in the backseat all decked out in her sunglasses. I told her she looked cool and she replied that she is a rockstar. Then she broke into Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green, and the girls are pretty. Oh won't you please take me home. Yeah, yeah.


Good ole Guns and Roses. Isn't that what all "I'm almost 5 you know" year olds are singing these days? She was hilarious. She was even doing that whiny Axl Rose voice and had the tune down perfectly. Axl Rose rises from the ashes one more time, reincarnated in the form of a blonde hair, green eyed, after-schooler.

My kid isn't all hard rock, you know. After her rendition of GNR, she effortlessly changed direction and sang a moving version of Tale as Old as Time from Beauty and the Beast. She followed up with Beach Baby and then finished with a self-composed song about sharing.

I believe a star has been born.

After-Schooler: Life at the Top of the Foodchain

Yesterday was JJ's first day back at daycare since last Friday. At our daycare, the kids change classes July 1 for the summer program. When we walked in yesterday, JJ went to her hook and basket and saw that her name was no longer there. She turned to Leonora, a staff member, and said "Where is my stuff?" Leonora said "Well, if I was an after-schooler, where would my stuff be?" JJ's face lit up like Christmas morning.

She is so excited that she is an after-schooler now. The after-schoolers are the big kids at daycare and she is stoked to be part of that club. Last night, JJ was diving into the pool and my dad told her that her dives were looking great. She responded "I am an after-schooler now, Grampie." From the way JJ tells it, it would seem that all good things are directly related to being an after-schooler.

I have no worries about JJ heading off to kindergarten in September. She is ready and very excited. Besides, she's an after-schooler now and apparently they have the world by the horns.

Snotty Pig

JJ and I were driving home the other day and she was eating an ice cream sandwich. We were just a few houses away from home and she offered me a bite of her ice cream sandwich. I said no thank you but she insisted. She handed me a small piece and I popped it in my mouth. The next thing I hear is "You snotty pig! You ate the rest of my ice cream sandwich!" said in her best disgusted voice. Holy hell! The car comes to a screeching halt in the driveway, as I try not to laugh, and I turn around and say "Excuse me?!?" Good god, she repeated it. I almost fell over. You'd think the car coming to an abrupt halt and my head almost flying off my shoulders would have been an indication that she said something inappropriate. Apparently, she was to disgusted with me to notice.

I proceeded to tell her that what she said was very inappropriate, that she will never say it again, and that she needed to apologize to me. JJ had different ideas. She informed me that she would "prefer to sit in the car and chit chat." I had to turn away from her to maintain my composure because I was about to dissolve into giggles. Once I had a handle on myself, I told her she would apologize or go straight to her room for the remainder of the night.

JJ eventually saw the light and apologized. But she also took the time to inform me that eating the remainder of her ice cream sandwich was highly inappropriate on my part.

3 days later and I still laugh when I think of those 2 little words - snotty pig. You have to know my child to understand that calling people names and having an attitude like that is absolutely not normal for her.

I Use the Term Lady Loosely

Dear Tim Horton's Worker Lady,

You're a bitch.

Princess

Canada Day...I just want to go to sleep now

Today was our annual Family Canada Day party. In the past few years, some of my cousins and their families have not attended but everyone was back full force this year and it was really nice. We had a few honorary families join us too - Hi Wards, MacDonalds, & Davises. I think there were more people there this year than ever before. But even with all those people it was pretty easy going. We have a ton of kids in our family but there are all getting bit older now so we can all relax a bit.

JJ and my little cousin, Gage, get along so well. He is a year or two older and such a little gentleman. He is rough and tumble but he is so sensitive and caring. The water in the pool was higher to day and, much to JJ's protest, I made her wear water wings because there were so many kids. She likes to dive and her wings came off a few times. When those water wings came off, Gage was the first one there to get them for her. He dove off the inflatable dolphin to get her water wing even though he knew he would lose the toy to another kid. Once both of her wings came off and JJ started to struggle. I was just about to dive into the pool to help her and all of a sudden Gage came charging across the pool, grabbed her, and brought her to the side. To put this in perspective, he is older but he is only an inch or two taller. He is "just" tall enough so the water is not over his head. Getting to JJ to help her was not a small feat for him. He is so sweet.

I told JJ I would take her to the fireworks. They don't start until 10:40 and I'm soooo tired. It's going to be a struggle to stay awake to take her. We certainly won't be staying for the whole thing.

Second Best...It's Almost Good Eough!

The province of New Brunswick recently came out with a new slogan "Be....in this place". I've decided my new personal slogan is "Second best...It's almost good enough!" I've been thinking lately and I'm totally a "settler". I settle for things instead of taking a stand for myself and going after what I really want or deserve. I know that I do it because I don't want to upset people. I'm afraid I might piss someone off if I voice my displeasure. Sometimes, I manage to convince myself that my feelings are not justified even though logically I know they are. I've been this way as long as I can remember.

I don't settle for anything but my best when I am producing something. For example, at work the result may not be perfect but I do things to the best of my ability. I always make sure I'm prepared, that people are not waiting on me, and if at all possible that I'm not standing there telling people that I don't know. Outside of work, if I tell you I'll so something than I do it to the absolute best of my ability.

But when the tables are turned it's a cake walk. Give me your left overs, your half-assed effort, be late, whatever! Because...here it comes. Wait for it, just wait for it. Second best....it's almost good enough.

I Lied

I totally lied and I'm not afraid to admit it. Last year, around this time, I said that it would be my last summer as a sun worshiper. I meant it, I really did. But I couldn't keep my word. I tried but it's not even July yet and I've already spent considerable time out on the deck in my bathing suit. I love summer.

I'm working on a project at work that doesn't really allow me to take vacation until it ends. Nobody would say no if I asked to take vacation, I don't think, but my work ethic won't let me. Damn ethics. So until mid-August, I'm just going to take a few beach days here and there. And let me be clear, I cannot wait to go to the beach!!

I have plans to head to sit on a purple sand beach and float in the lake with Jenny Mac on Saturday. It's going to be fun. I just need to get myself a beach chair and some water and I'm all set. I could sit on the beach for hours. I always take a book or a magazine but I rarely end up reading. I could just sit there and chat or people watch for the entire day.

This year will be the first year since I was 6 months old that I won't be spending a week in Shediac at the beach. It really saddens me but there is nothing I can do about it. I'll just get in as many day trips as I can. JJ HATES the drive to Shediac. But she did say that is has been a long time since she has seen the giant lobster....so she'll try the drive on more time. I tried to get her excited by pitching the idea as a "girl trip - you and Mommy on the open road". But in the end, it was the prospect of watching movies in the car that won her over.

I Just Can't Look Away

I've been reading a blog every day for about a year and a half now called dooce.com. Her writing makes me laugh out loud on a daily basis. I can really relate to her, I love her sarcasm, and I think she's hilarious. She's been blogging for a number of years and was fired from her job for talking shit about her employer on her blog. Classic!

Anyway, this woman has quite a readership. She doesn't always open the comments on her blog but when she does it's not unusual to see 400-600 comments. I don't take the time to read the comments because she regularly writes pieces about the hate email and comments she receives. She will often copy the comment or email directly into the blog and they are so dumb that they're funny. I don't get the people who write comments or emails saying how much they hate her writing, how bad her blog is, and that they don't know why they read it. It's the same deal with Facebook groups and stuff.

My response is that we must call the police to immediately to track down the horrible people who have the blog readers tied up and are holding a gun to their head FORCING them to read things against their will. It's inhumane and must be stopped.

I also love nasty anonymous comments. I can't take anyone seriously when they are too cowardly to sign their name. If want to leave a nasty comment than have then guts to sign your name. If not, then I don't see how anyone can really care about anything you have to say.

That being said, the exclamation and hate mail blogs that appear on dooce.com are my favourites. So funny.

She's Not British?

I spent my evening helping my beautiful cousin, Stephanie, and her sister-in-law, Jenelle, make Jenelle's wedding invitations. They turned out very nicely. Thanks for the use of your stamp, Jay. It was the perfect touch.

We chit chatted the whole time we worked and we touched on many different topics. We got talking about music and the subject of Madonna came up. I love Madonna and I've been a fan since I was a child. But she is certainly not the same person she was 20 years ago. Of course, people evolve, change, and grow. But this woman has turned British. She speaks even now speaks with a touch of a British accent.

My point was made loud and clear by the last three sentences of our Madonna conversation

Me: "Madonna even has a fake British accent now. C'mon, she's from Michigan."
Jenelle: "She's from Michigan? You mean she's not British?"

Thank you Jenelle. My point exactly.

Monday Morning Obervations

* Ankle bracelets that are so tight that it makes your foot turn blue are not pretty.

* Ass sweat stains on a chair will evaporate in approximately 30 mins.

* It is possible to leave ass sweat stains at 9:23 am.

* If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie....is always appropriate.

* Short cut off jean shorts than only end 2 inches below your ass cheeks are never appropriate office wear. Unless you are a federal employee.

* It will not be possible for me to drink enough coffee today.

* Sunburned boobies will sweat.

* I love summer.

That it for now. This list may be uppdated as the day goes on.

S-A-N-D-W-IC-H

Dear Tim Hortons Cashier Girl,

You may not remember me but you waited on me in the drive-thru the other day. I certainly remember you. I remember when you handed me my sandwich and said "Here's your sammich". Then you turned to the young man working beside you, giggled, and gave the that coy little "I'm cute, right?" look. Sweetie, it's not cute. Not even a little bit and it won't make him like you. In fact, if it does make him like you then he is a complete loser and you need to move on. Quickly.

You've waited on me a number of times in the past and I'm fairly certain you are a smart young woman. It is for that reason, that I hope you quickly discover that it never pays to play down your intelligence for anyone. No one is worth more than your self-esteem and sense of worth.

Love,

Princess aka The Creepy Lady in the Drive-thru

Get the Listerine...NOW!

Saturday night, I was sitting in the living room knitting while the Littlest Princess was brushing her teeth in the washroom. She called out to me and said "Mom, my toothbrush fell in the toilet." I replied, without looking up, "Leave it there!! I'll be right in." I just wanted to put down my knitting so as not to lose any stitches. When I looked up, the child was standing in front of me with the toothbrush in her mouth.

I stammered a bit and said "JJ take that out of your mouth!" She replied "Don't worry Mom I dried it off with a towel." I then started to die a very slow and painful death. Suddenly, a terrifying thought came into my head and I said "JJ did that fall in the toilet before or after you peed?" Keep in mind that I'm constantly telling the child to flush the toilet. Her reply? "After."

I wanted to bleach the child's mouth. Fortunately, I remembered that would likely kill her.

Say What??? and Arse Darts

I don't like to shop at the Sobeys at the Brookside Mall. Here comes my snobbish admission but the place just seems, well, nasty and redneck to me. This piece of info is pertinent to the story so keep reading before sending hate mail. I know it's snobby. Moving right along...

I stopped in at Sobeys yesterday afternoon to grab some graham crackers for the s'mores I've been craving. I went to Sobeys because I was already in the vicinity and I only needed one item so how bad could it be? It was bad.

I got my graham crackers and headed for the express check out (15 items or less). There was a lovely elderly lady right behind me and we made small talk for a second. Right behind her was a couple that I will call the Redneck couple. The were loudly bitching about the people in line who had more than 15 items. All of a sudden, Native woman walked up to Redneck couple and said in a very pleasant voice "Excuse me...". Redneck woman turned to look at native woman. Native woman's tone completely changed and she said "Did you call my daughter fat?" Rest assured the kid was indeed very obese. Redneck woman said "Oh, no! I said she was cute." Uh huh, because those words sound so much alike. Native woman said "Well, my kid said you called her fat." At this point I turned around because they saw me staring at them. I'm talking eyes wide open, mouth agape staring. In my head I'm wondering if my eyes are really truly seeing this and how did I get so damn lucky on a rainy Saturday?!?! Finally Native woman said okay and walked away.

I turned to look at Redneck couple and the husband looked and me and said "Can you 'magine??" That was it for me. I lost it. I had no control and I just about pissed myself laughing. Eventually I said to him "I thought I was going to see a smackdown right here." He replied with a dirty look toward Native woman "You might just yet." Thank goodness it was my turn to pay. I paid and high-tailed it out of that insane asylum. And that, Internet, is why I do not shop at Sobeys on Brookside.

Arse Darts - You place a small item, a toonie is a good one, between your butt cheeks. You must then walk a short distance and deposit the toonie in some sort of container such as a bowl. As the game goes on, the container gets smaller. That's the gist of it. However at 2 am in a parking lot, just pick a target on the ground and go for it. Admittedly, not a classy game but it was 2 am.

Observations of the Random Variety

My sister is snarky.